Sometimes as a mom, we have to shut the world out. Life can get hectic and stressful when there are too many people taking from us at once. It can be as complicated as over committing yourself to things and demanding relationships outside the walls of your home to as simple as the phone ringing too many times in one day. Moms know when those moments are because signs of stress start to overcome us. The baby is crying, the laundry needs to be switched to the dryer, your inbox is full of emails to reply to, the phone is ringing, you never ran the errand your husband asked you to do this morning, the toddler just spilled something, dinner is burning on the stove, and the doorbell just rang. I won't even describe the day where this all happens and you are supposed to be at the dentist in 15 min.
No matter how organized we try to be and no matter how well we master managing our time, Mama said there would be days like this. These are the days when shutting out the world to just focus on what goes on inside the walls of your home is necessary.
Let the phone ring
Ignore the email (in fact don't turn the computer on)
Close the front curtains so no one knows you are home
Reschedule appointments
Stay home (unless it's of course to run that errand for your adoring husband)
So many times I've wanted to run from the house screaming and pulling my hair out when what I really needed to do was stay in the house and shut the world out. It's a protective mode to protect the sanity of what is on the inside of our house...our family. It's like calling a huddle and getting the team to regroup. Sometimes this shut-out lasts just for the afternoon but other times it has lasted for days! Instead of freaking out, stressing out, having a break down, just shut out the world until order has been regained.
It's not always easy to shut out the world when we've over committed ourselves. That's when some serious pruning of our schedules may need to be done. I've had to prune and re-prune, and re-prune again when it comes to my always evolving schedule.
But remember that our first priority is our family; our husband, our children, our home. Everything else has to come after the first most precious things are cared for. Shut out the world if you have to. It's worth it from time to time.
12.18.2009
12.17.2009
I'm writing the future
what will my kids say about me? "growing up, my mom......." They'll be finishing that sentence in many ways. I hope that as I'm writing their history right now that the sentence will be finished with good things.
No mom is perfect and there will always be an element of what I call "mom guilt" no matter how hard I try to be a good mom. But I've learned that I need to always keep in the back of my mind the fact that what I say, how I act, the choices I make, and the responses I have to life are all being watched by little eyes and listened to by little ears. My children observe my frustration, my anger, my joy, my unfairness, my happiness, my smile, my tears, my unkind words, my temper, my love, my gossip, my attitudes, etc. With all of those things I'm writing their "childhood history". I write it with my tone of voice, I write it with my facial expressions, I write it with my disapproval, I write it with my relationship to my husband, I write it with my respect or disrespect, I write it with the attitude I choose to have each day as I face trials.
What will they say about me? "When I was growing up my mom.....was rushed all the time?" or "was always sitting at her computer" or "was rude to Daddy" or "was lazy" or "yelled at us" or "didn't spend enough time reading her Bible" or will they say things like "she always found the joy no matter what the circumstances" or "she was faithful to her God" or "she taught us to love Jesus more than life" or "she admired Daddy and never spoke poorly of him" or "she taught us to live Godly by example".......
Wouldn't those be wonderful things to have said about me one day. I have influence over what will be said about me in the future by how I live today! I can choose to be the calm mother with a smile, gentle guiding hand, peaceful voice, with love in her eyes for all around her or to be flustered, overwhelmed, with anger and tears often on my face.
Emilee, if you are a mother some day, I hope you will forgive me for my short comings and failures but mostly I pray that you will forgive yourself for your own short comings and failures and strive to always be growing as a Godly woman. Satan will always tempt us to despair as a mother and tell us of the guilt within (that "mom guilt" that says we are never good enough). Don't allow Satan to convince you that your progress is anything but glorious and honoring to God. I love you my sweet girl. Thank you for always forgiving me now and for being so precious and forbearing with me. You are an incredible 8 year old and I can't even imagine how blessed you will be as a Godly woman.
No mom is perfect and there will always be an element of what I call "mom guilt" no matter how hard I try to be a good mom. But I've learned that I need to always keep in the back of my mind the fact that what I say, how I act, the choices I make, and the responses I have to life are all being watched by little eyes and listened to by little ears. My children observe my frustration, my anger, my joy, my unfairness, my happiness, my smile, my tears, my unkind words, my temper, my love, my gossip, my attitudes, etc. With all of those things I'm writing their "childhood history". I write it with my tone of voice, I write it with my facial expressions, I write it with my disapproval, I write it with my relationship to my husband, I write it with my respect or disrespect, I write it with the attitude I choose to have each day as I face trials.
What will they say about me? "When I was growing up my mom.....was rushed all the time?" or "was always sitting at her computer" or "was rude to Daddy" or "was lazy" or "yelled at us" or "didn't spend enough time reading her Bible" or will they say things like "she always found the joy no matter what the circumstances" or "she was faithful to her God" or "she taught us to love Jesus more than life" or "she admired Daddy and never spoke poorly of him" or "she taught us to live Godly by example".......
Wouldn't those be wonderful things to have said about me one day. I have influence over what will be said about me in the future by how I live today! I can choose to be the calm mother with a smile, gentle guiding hand, peaceful voice, with love in her eyes for all around her or to be flustered, overwhelmed, with anger and tears often on my face.
Emilee, if you are a mother some day, I hope you will forgive me for my short comings and failures but mostly I pray that you will forgive yourself for your own short comings and failures and strive to always be growing as a Godly woman. Satan will always tempt us to despair as a mother and tell us of the guilt within (that "mom guilt" that says we are never good enough). Don't allow Satan to convince you that your progress is anything but glorious and honoring to God. I love you my sweet girl. Thank you for always forgiving me now and for being so precious and forbearing with me. You are an incredible 8 year old and I can't even imagine how blessed you will be as a Godly woman.
12.13.2009
Be home
It took me a while to learn that when my children were little I needed to be home as much as possible. I liked being out and about most days as it was my nature and habit but I soon realized that little children (infants included) thrive on being home. They need routine and the security of home. Dragging my children out of the house every day from place to place only created chaos. Babies and children need the habit of good naps in the same place every day to establish healthy sleep habits. Taking them out of the house every day is over stimulating for their little bodies and minds. Once I learned that being home was best life became more peaceful and my children became much happier. I purposed to only leave the house twice a week if I had to which included my grocery shopping, errands, and play dates. Only 2 times during the work week was my rule. As a family, on the weekends there was already church on Sunday, errands to run as a family or other commitments to attend so we were out plenty as it was each week.
Being disciplined in this area (as much of an adjustment as it was for me to be home almost every day) came in handy when it was time to do potty training. I realized that I needed to be home as much as possible when we potty trained as well. It also became a beneficial discipline when I began homeschooling.
Being home more actually brought myself more freedom. At first it felt restricting because I was not a homebody and I thrived on social contact. But over time I adjusted and benefited from the peace that being home brought. Suddenly there were other benefits that I didn't realize. Like how much better in control of my house I was....the house stayed cleaner, I was more organized, meals were prepared on time more often, my husband came home to happy well rested children, a clean and welcoming home, a hot meal ready, and a happy wife who was also more rested and organized. I was free to enjoy doing what I was called to do....I was free to care for my children, free to keep my house clean, free to prepare healthy meals, free to play with and enjoy my children, free to rest, free to stay home and enjoy being a wife and mom. By allowing me to be a stay-at-home mom, my husband gave me the greatest gift which is to enjoy fulfilling my role as wife and mother in a Biblical fashion. Enjoying it to the fullest and disciplining myself in my role became my joy and peace.
Being home provides the opportunity to be organized and disciplined with caring for my home and my children. I still have the choice to be home and be lazy or be home and be disciplined. Being home merely provides the means.
Now, I am a homebody. I love being home and truly hate when I have to leave for the day to run errands or grocery shop. The best spent day for me is a day spent home soaking up my children's youth, preparing my home daily for my family and making a home that welcomes my husband back each day from the strains of life.
Being disciplined in this area (as much of an adjustment as it was for me to be home almost every day) came in handy when it was time to do potty training. I realized that I needed to be home as much as possible when we potty trained as well. It also became a beneficial discipline when I began homeschooling.
Being home more actually brought myself more freedom. At first it felt restricting because I was not a homebody and I thrived on social contact. But over time I adjusted and benefited from the peace that being home brought. Suddenly there were other benefits that I didn't realize. Like how much better in control of my house I was....the house stayed cleaner, I was more organized, meals were prepared on time more often, my husband came home to happy well rested children, a clean and welcoming home, a hot meal ready, and a happy wife who was also more rested and organized. I was free to enjoy doing what I was called to do....I was free to care for my children, free to keep my house clean, free to prepare healthy meals, free to play with and enjoy my children, free to rest, free to stay home and enjoy being a wife and mom. By allowing me to be a stay-at-home mom, my husband gave me the greatest gift which is to enjoy fulfilling my role as wife and mother in a Biblical fashion. Enjoying it to the fullest and disciplining myself in my role became my joy and peace.
Being home provides the opportunity to be organized and disciplined with caring for my home and my children. I still have the choice to be home and be lazy or be home and be disciplined. Being home merely provides the means.
Now, I am a homebody. I love being home and truly hate when I have to leave for the day to run errands or grocery shop. The best spent day for me is a day spent home soaking up my children's youth, preparing my home daily for my family and making a home that welcomes my husband back each day from the strains of life.
12.06.2009
Home Management Folder
I love my home management binder. It's just a 3 ring binder with dividers and page covers. It's the brain of my home (since my brain is mostly gone). Anything and everything I could possibly need is in there. It keeps me on schedule, it keeps me organized, it keeps me in contact, which all keeps me happy.
What I use to make it:
- a three ring binder
- page dividers
- page protectors (great for holding receipts, coupons, cards, and such.)
- a three ring binder whole punch (unless you put all your pages in page protectors.)
- post it notes (are a must for me so I keep a little stack in the front pocket
- a pen (you'll use this often and not want to search for one.)
Here's what is currently in my home management folder divided by the bold categories:
Meal Planning-
- calendar month of meal plan
- printed recipes that I use almost every week (ie. bread, snacks, etc.)
- dinner ideas list
- lunch ideas list
- azure standard schedule
- azure standard order receipts
- recipes I want to try
- the basic recipes I use almost every week
Homeschool-
- school year calendar
- kid's Bible reading chart
- kid's individual weekly curriculum plan
- kid's course of study and scope
- kid's weekly lesson plans
- reading list for library books
Coupons-
- sorted in page protectors by expiration date
Communication-
- important information I don't want to forget! Especially with coming up events
- next month's cards for birthdays and other events
- church directory, neighborhood directory, family directories
- list of new neighbor's names (so that I don't forget them!)
- medical results, doctor appointments, current research I'm doing of any sort
- a list of questions to as your kids to connect with them spiritually
- things I need to respond to or follow up on (ie. wedding invites, letters, orders, etc.)
Finances-
- monthly cash flow plan
- budget
- receipts to keep
- other financial notes (ie. goals, etc.)
At different times my folder has also included categories such as:
Home Decorating-
- I save paint chips
- magazine pages of things I like
- list of items to keep my eye out for at garage sales
- etc.
Christmas-
- Christmas gift ideas
- list of gifts bought previously
- menu plan
- Christmas card list and check list
- postage
- etc.
Cleaning-
- daily cleaning schedule
- weekly cleaning schedule
- monthly cleaning schedule
Marriage-
- date ideas
- baby sitter contact list
- spontaneous ways to show love ideas
- plans for anniversary
- plans for valentines
- gift ideas
- etc.
My current binder had a window pocket design on the front. So, I wrote Home Management on a piece of paper and slid it in the pocket. I found it at Walmart. Yes, it can get a little messy at times since life is busy but at least it's all there and I know where it is!
12.02.2009
Advent
We've been using the advent as outlined in the book Disciplines of a Godly Family by Kent and Barbara Hughes for several years now. The advent in the book goes along with hanging ornaments on a Jesse Tree. The name “Jesse Tree” comes from Isaiah 11:1-2: A shoot will come up from the stump of Jesse; from his roots a Branch will bear fruit. The Spirit of the LORD will rest on him— the Spirit of wisdom and of understanding, the Spirit of counsel and of power, the Spirit of knowledge and of the fear of the LORD.” It's pretty in-depth so when the kids were younger and couldn't understand everything I paraphrased it a bit.
If you are interested in doing a Jesse Tree check out some of these other resources as well.
The Glorious Coming by Graham Family Ministries
Printable Color Your Own Pictures for a Jesse Tree
Purchase Handmade Jesse Tree Ornaments
There are several other Jesse Tree ornament Kits out there if you do an internet search. There isn't a "right" way to do a Jesse Tree. There are so many stories in the Bible that all point to the coming Savior. For a basic understanding of this concept, I would suggest reading The Jesus Storybook Bible with your children. This book teaches us how the Bible is one story about a Savior coming to rescue us and how most of the OT stories are symbolic of that coming Savior. Of course, I would recommend reading this book no matter what because it's funny and incredible and my kiddos love it!
I've since found more resources and I like this one for little children. I would copy and paste it here but it's copyrighted-instead you can go to the site and see it for yourself. You of course don't have to buy the sticker book but you can see the 25 daily verse readings which are very short for small children.
This one is a little more in-depth with longer readings and again you can go view it but I can't copy and paste it here because it's copyrighted as well. You can see the daily readings and use them with your own Jesse Tree or other way of doing Advent.
Advent starts on the 4th Sunday before Christmas which means that it's a different amount of days each year depending on what day Christmas falls on. You can either do the math and do the full amount of days or you can just start with December 1st and do 25 days. If the advent you've chosen has more days on it than you want to use, then choose which ones to skip.
Hope this tradition carries on in our family to every generation!
If you are interested in doing a Jesse Tree check out some of these other resources as well.
The Glorious Coming by Graham Family Ministries
Printable Color Your Own Pictures for a Jesse Tree
Purchase Handmade Jesse Tree Ornaments
There are several other Jesse Tree ornament Kits out there if you do an internet search. There isn't a "right" way to do a Jesse Tree. There are so many stories in the Bible that all point to the coming Savior. For a basic understanding of this concept, I would suggest reading The Jesus Storybook Bible with your children. This book teaches us how the Bible is one story about a Savior coming to rescue us and how most of the OT stories are symbolic of that coming Savior. Of course, I would recommend reading this book no matter what because it's funny and incredible and my kiddos love it!
I've since found more resources and I like this one for little children. I would copy and paste it here but it's copyrighted-instead you can go to the site and see it for yourself. You of course don't have to buy the sticker book but you can see the 25 daily verse readings which are very short for small children.
This one is a little more in-depth with longer readings and again you can go view it but I can't copy and paste it here because it's copyrighted as well. You can see the daily readings and use them with your own Jesse Tree or other way of doing Advent.
Advent starts on the 4th Sunday before Christmas which means that it's a different amount of days each year depending on what day Christmas falls on. You can either do the math and do the full amount of days or you can just start with December 1st and do 25 days. If the advent you've chosen has more days on it than you want to use, then choose which ones to skip.
Hope this tradition carries on in our family to every generation!
11.30.2009
Traditions
Traditions in families are such a great tool for teaching our children because unlike holidays and celebrations, traditions can be used at anytime! Around the holidays is when we use traditions the most but sometimes these traditions can become meaningless or lost in the shuffle of materialism.
As mothers we have the opportunity to teach through the traditions we keep. Don't miss out on the chance to instill wisdom through family traditions. Choose carefully the family traditions you set up for your family. Think of traditions you can use to impart wisdom, instill a truth, or share a heritage.
We can also create traditions that are just fun and silly, that don't have some deep meaning. These traditions create a bond and promote family comroderie. It's important to have these kinds of tradtions as well. Silly and fun traditions convey love, a spirit of fun, and overall togetherness that bonds families. Don't forget to express love to your kids through silly traditions.
When developing traditions, ask yourself these questions:
-is this something I can keep up with year after year (week after week)?
-is this tradition frugal and simple to recreate every year?
-what is the purpose of this tradtion?
-what am I trying to pass down to my children through this tradtion?
-are our traditions balanced? (silly vs. instilling truth)
Some of our family traditions off the top of my head are:
-manger under the Christmas tree that sits empty and on Christmas morning it has a baby Jesus in it.
-12 Days of Christmas
-Advent Jesse Tree
-Reformation Day celebration on Oct. 31st and family movie night
-Praying on the way to church
-Floating the river after dinner in the summer
-Daddy playing guitar and singing together in the evenings
-Knock-you-down hugs
-Daddy makes breakfast on Saturday
-Daddy dates
-Dutch run (as in coffee run for the whole family- the kids get hot chocolate)
-"marriage check-up talk" on our anniversary
-Rogies on Christmas Eve
I know there are more but that's just a few.....
As mothers we have the opportunity to teach through the traditions we keep. Don't miss out on the chance to instill wisdom through family traditions. Choose carefully the family traditions you set up for your family. Think of traditions you can use to impart wisdom, instill a truth, or share a heritage.
We can also create traditions that are just fun and silly, that don't have some deep meaning. These traditions create a bond and promote family comroderie. It's important to have these kinds of tradtions as well. Silly and fun traditions convey love, a spirit of fun, and overall togetherness that bonds families. Don't forget to express love to your kids through silly traditions.
When developing traditions, ask yourself these questions:
-is this something I can keep up with year after year (week after week)?
-is this tradition frugal and simple to recreate every year?
-what is the purpose of this tradtion?
-what am I trying to pass down to my children through this tradtion?
-are our traditions balanced? (silly vs. instilling truth)
Some of our family traditions off the top of my head are:
-manger under the Christmas tree that sits empty and on Christmas morning it has a baby Jesus in it.
-12 Days of Christmas
-Advent Jesse Tree
-Reformation Day celebration on Oct. 31st and family movie night
-Praying on the way to church
-Floating the river after dinner in the summer
-Daddy playing guitar and singing together in the evenings
-Knock-you-down hugs
-Daddy makes breakfast on Saturday
-Daddy dates
-Dutch run (as in coffee run for the whole family- the kids get hot chocolate)
-"marriage check-up talk" on our anniversary
-Rogies on Christmas Eve
I know there are more but that's just a few.....
11.23.2009
How to love a husband
1) Pray for him
- ministry
- struggles
- personal walk
- work
-as a father
-as a husband
-as the leader of your home
2) Plan for him daily
- do things to serve him
- dinners
- alone time
- dinners alone
- kids to bed early/on time
- rise early with him
3) Prepare for him daily
-be home when he gets home
- prepare the house
- prepare your appearance
- prepare children's appearance
- prepare your greeting
- set the table
- clear out all visitors
- stay off the phone
4) Please him
5) Protect your time with him
6) Physically love him
-pursue him
-pursue him
-be available
7) Positively respond to him
8) Praise him (in private and in public)
- search your heart
9) Pray always
- before you speak in the morning
- any time he is home
- throughout the evening
- on the way to answer the phone (it could be him)
- when you are arriving home and he is already there
adapted from Elizabeth George books
11.19.2009
Front Porch Mentoring
This article couldn't be closer to my heart when it comes to generational fellowship and shining our light in our neighborhoods and well, how I feel about my cherished front porch. Nine years ago, getting to know my neighbors was new to me as an adult and I'm so pleased to now have wonderful relationships with some of my neighbors. And it's not because they are all just like me. Many of them have very different lives, religious beliefs, and are very different ages. I cherish each one. Some are ones that I hopefully shine a light too even during the times I'm not verbally witnessing to them and some of them are huge encouragements to me in my striving to serve God. Beyond neighbors, I hope to instill in my daughter the practice of hospitality that sits on the front porch and gleans from one another while sipping tea. We use our front porch often and have had so many come to sit with us. Great conversations have taken place on our front porch with young and old.
"One of the things I love best about hearing tales of "the good old days" is the camaraderie between neighbors and the kinship that linked generations. Little girls learned how to be women simply by being with the women in their lives. Cooking, keeping house, taking care of babies- all the ins and outs of womanhood were learned as a matter of course simply by one generation absorbing these things from previous ones.
This old-fashioned, front-porch style of passing on values and skills seems lost on my generation; in part, because we are simply too busy to be involved in each other's lives, and, in part, because we are a very scattered generation of young folk.
A lot of us live hours- or even states- away from our parents and extended family. Our generation has more technology at its finger tips than previous ones ever dreamt possible; email, instant messaging, texting and cell phones all enable us to keep in touch with loved ones, literally at the touch of a button.
Yet we are are more emotionally distant and withdrawn from those around us than generations past. How many of us know more about our next door neighbors than their first name? How many times have we invited friends from church into our home; or visited in the homes of our pastor or church family?
One of the greatest challenges of being a twenty-first century woman is letting your guard down and being "real" with people. Since we've lost the "connectedness" of our grandmothers and great-grandmothers, we somehow feel we have to live up to an image projected by Hollywood. You know what I'm talking about. The illusion that real womanhood revolves around keeping up on the latest fashions, filling your home with designer furniture, driving expensive vehicles, having picture-perfect kids and a successful, manikin-handsome husband.
If we find our lives falling short of this picture-perfect scenario, we tend to shut others out. We shy away from inviting our friends over because they might see our old, ugly carpet, or how out-dated the couch is. And since our kitchen is definitely not state-of-the-art, and our cooking expertise doesn't match Rachel Ray or Paula Dean, it's too "risky" to ask people over for dinner. They might criticize our imperfections and it's easier just to keep everyone a safe distance away.
The thought that perhaps some of the younger girls in our circle of friendship might like to spend some time in our company probably doesn't even enter our minds. I mean, teenagers don't like the type of things I like- they probably think I'm an old, worn out fogey, any way. Girls these days don't even have an inkling that they should be learning to cook or clean or take care of babies. I don't have any extra time in my day to spend entertaining, anyway.
And so we cut the ties before us and after us. Each generation is self-contained, self-absorbed. And, like a plant with shallow roots, each generation withers on the vine. We live among, go to church with, and are even related to people with whom we share very little of our lives. The results are fragmented families, churches without true unity, and young women who grow up isolated and afraid to reach out.
The Biblical mandate for passing the torch of womanhood from generation to generation is so simple and clear: "The aged women... teach the young women" (Titus 2:2,3)
I would love to see this concept of Biblical mentoring rekindled among the Christian women in our culture. However, I'm not going to sit around "waiting" for it to happen. While I obviously can't change our culture, I can make a difference in the small sphere of influence God has given me. My family, my friends, my church, my community. I can choose to reach out to those God has brought into my life, both older and younger, and offer the gift of friendship.
I love one definition of a mentor: Someone farther down the path then you, who is going where you want to go, and who is willing to give you some light to help you get there.
Accordingly, we can all be a mentor to someone.
Hmmmm... who can I invite for a little front-porch chat this week?"
11.18.2009
Boo Boo Stick
When my children were toddlers and seemed to get a boo-boo or scratch every day that they would complain about I would rub chapstick on it for a quick remedy. It's easy, doesn't need a bandaid, and I always have it with me.
Chapstick:
-has lanolin in it which helps heal quickly and takes away the pain
-seals the scratch/cut from the air which takes away the pain quickly
-is easy to have always with you in your purse
-is not greasy or oily so you don't even need a bandaid
Chapstick:
-has lanolin in it which helps heal quickly and takes away the pain
-seals the scratch/cut from the air which takes away the pain quickly
-is easy to have always with you in your purse
-is not greasy or oily so you don't even need a bandaid
11.16.2009
Teaching Children How To Clean
I've observed mothers who send their small children in to clean up a room (ie. pick up and organize toys where they go, make the bed, etc.) by themselves at young ages. It drags on for hours with the child making very little progress if any at all. Soon mother is mad and the child is downcast and grumpy. Family time that could have been spent in fun has now been greatly wasted with a nagging mother sending the child back into the room to "keep working". Children aren't born knowing how to clean. We can assume that they know but the truth is that they don't. We do know that children learn by example which is crucial to teaching children how to clean up.
Always have your small child clean up beside you. Go into the room with them and yes, the first few years you'll be doing the bulk of the work but you will be teaching your child truly how to clean. Young children need to be shown and to do the work with you. They may actually end up having a great time cleaning "with" you. Don't have too high of expectations of a small child to clean up by themselves which only frustrates them, accomplishes little, breeds bitterness (we are warned in Scripture not to exasperate our children and one of the best ways to do that is to have unrealistic expectations), makes for grumpy parents when the job doesn't get done, and breeds negativity in the home-atmosphere for hours in worse cases.
Clean with your children.
Make cleaning together fun.
Help them feel accomplished.
Don't ask them to clean while you sit in a chair and exhibit laziness.
Do more work than your child does while working together.
Work joyfully.
Set realistic goals and limits.
Use a timer to tidy up. (commit to only 20 min. and then save the rest for another day)
Conquer one room at a time when cleaning the whole house (mother and all the children go into each room together, even their sibling's and parent's rooms and all work till it's done and then move to the next room). This way you are helping each other and you promote family team work.
Once they are older they can use the timer on their own even to work alone. Establishing these methods quickly solved cleaning up issues when my first born was just a toddler and has produced children who are incredibly skilled cleaners who clean joyfully, efficiently, and quickly. Instead of complaining they tackle even the biggest jobs with strong work ethic.
Remember that a lazy mother is an example of laziness. It doesn't matter how many times she bosses her children around to do their chores or clean from her spot in her recliner, they will learn by watching what she does (or in this case, doesn't do) rather than by all the barking commands she has given. They won't be learning motivation for work ethic. Children learn best when you are working beside them at the task that you are trying to teach them. Yes, children are capable of much but if they aren't taught the skill first then they have nothing to go on. You don't send them into the kitchen by themselves to learn to cook but instead you have them cook beside you while you do the bulk of the work at first until they can independently proceed because of your example. Even if you are a hard working mom (and not lazy) be careful not to be so focused on your own chores and work that you neglect working beside your child at even the simplest of tasks. It seems like so much at first but the ground work in training your children will produce fruit later that will bless you immensely and your child as they grow older.
On the flip side, don't do everything for them. DO teach them to clean and be hard working, independant, and motivated people. Just because you can do their laundry for them when they are in high school doesn't mean that you should! You are robbing them of knowledge and independance. But maybe even more so, you have robbed them of the characteristic of work ethic and the ability to bless others through serving. This is actually a greater tragedy.
Always have your small child clean up beside you. Go into the room with them and yes, the first few years you'll be doing the bulk of the work but you will be teaching your child truly how to clean. Young children need to be shown and to do the work with you. They may actually end up having a great time cleaning "with" you. Don't have too high of expectations of a small child to clean up by themselves which only frustrates them, accomplishes little, breeds bitterness (we are warned in Scripture not to exasperate our children and one of the best ways to do that is to have unrealistic expectations), makes for grumpy parents when the job doesn't get done, and breeds negativity in the home-atmosphere for hours in worse cases.
Clean with your children.
Make cleaning together fun.
Help them feel accomplished.
Don't ask them to clean while you sit in a chair and exhibit laziness.
Do more work than your child does while working together.
Work joyfully.
Set realistic goals and limits.
Use a timer to tidy up. (commit to only 20 min. and then save the rest for another day)
Conquer one room at a time when cleaning the whole house (mother and all the children go into each room together, even their sibling's and parent's rooms and all work till it's done and then move to the next room). This way you are helping each other and you promote family team work.
Once they are older they can use the timer on their own even to work alone. Establishing these methods quickly solved cleaning up issues when my first born was just a toddler and has produced children who are incredibly skilled cleaners who clean joyfully, efficiently, and quickly. Instead of complaining they tackle even the biggest jobs with strong work ethic.
Remember that a lazy mother is an example of laziness. It doesn't matter how many times she bosses her children around to do their chores or clean from her spot in her recliner, they will learn by watching what she does (or in this case, doesn't do) rather than by all the barking commands she has given. They won't be learning motivation for work ethic. Children learn best when you are working beside them at the task that you are trying to teach them. Yes, children are capable of much but if they aren't taught the skill first then they have nothing to go on. You don't send them into the kitchen by themselves to learn to cook but instead you have them cook beside you while you do the bulk of the work at first until they can independently proceed because of your example. Even if you are a hard working mom (and not lazy) be careful not to be so focused on your own chores and work that you neglect working beside your child at even the simplest of tasks. It seems like so much at first but the ground work in training your children will produce fruit later that will bless you immensely and your child as they grow older.
On the flip side, don't do everything for them. DO teach them to clean and be hard working, independant, and motivated people. Just because you can do their laundry for them when they are in high school doesn't mean that you should! You are robbing them of knowledge and independance. But maybe even more so, you have robbed them of the characteristic of work ethic and the ability to bless others through serving. This is actually a greater tragedy.
11.12.2009
Bible reading for little ones
It's never too soon for children to begin reading their own Bibles each morning. Once a child can read they are able to read even the simplest of children's Bibles. Check your local book store for toddler versions for the beginner reader. If they have already had the Bible read to them regularly either from a Bible story book or the Bible itself, this will come easily for them.
For little children, have them read just one story at a time from a story Bible book.
For older children who have mastered basic reading, have them read 1 chapter of the Bible a morning.
Be sure to teach by example. Instilling this habit could save their lives.
For little children, have them read just one story at a time from a story Bible book.
For older children who have mastered basic reading, have them read 1 chapter of the Bible a morning.
Be sure to teach by example. Instilling this habit could save their lives.
11.09.2009
Hair Ties
11.07.2009
Decorating 101
My first rule of home decorating is:
1. Don't collect things that you do not use unless it plays a significant role in your decor. Usefulness gives value to items we choose to use in our home. Collections of things like spoons, plates, and bells can be fun to collect but they often do not lend to the decor nor do they usually get "used". Consider carefully what you choose to "collect" if anything at all. Collecting lends itself to materialism and collecting cobwebs. When it comes to china, be sure and use it. Don't let it sit unused in a china hutch. Use all the things in your china hutch or get rid of them. By using them you create memories to them. Your children will not cherish the china plate or the tea pot that has no memories attached to them. Use them. It's worth even the risk of breaking them which is what most people are afraid of.
Ideas for using china:
~ have a formal night once a week/month where the table is set with fine china. Use the opportunity to train your children how to properly set a table. You can also use the evening to work on manners and proper table etiquette.
~use the fine china for special occasions like birthday dinners, anniversaries, other life celebrations, or special guests.
~always use the fine china for holidays!
1. Don't collect things that you do not use unless it plays a significant role in your decor. Usefulness gives value to items we choose to use in our home. Collections of things like spoons, plates, and bells can be fun to collect but they often do not lend to the decor nor do they usually get "used". Consider carefully what you choose to "collect" if anything at all. Collecting lends itself to materialism and collecting cobwebs. When it comes to china, be sure and use it. Don't let it sit unused in a china hutch. Use all the things in your china hutch or get rid of them. By using them you create memories to them. Your children will not cherish the china plate or the tea pot that has no memories attached to them. Use them. It's worth even the risk of breaking them which is what most people are afraid of.
Ideas for using china:
~ have a formal night once a week/month where the table is set with fine china. Use the opportunity to train your children how to properly set a table. You can also use the evening to work on manners and proper table etiquette.
~use the fine china for special occasions like birthday dinners, anniversaries, other life celebrations, or special guests.
~always use the fine china for holidays!
11.03.2009
Caring for sick children
When kids are sick I find it easiest to:
- chop an onion and put in bowls around the house and by the bedside of the sick to help fight the virus and prevent others from getting it
- cover their sheets with a beach towel
- provide a plastic bowl by their bedside
- braid long hair loosely for comfort and convenience
- sleep in their room with them
- put pull-ups on them if necessary (the largest size will surprisingly fit older kids)
- keep a cold wet washcloth for fevers
- keep a hot water bottle for aches and pains
- rub Castor oil on aches and pains (aching legs and back)
- use vapor rub
- use a humidifier if needed
- keep a tissue box and trash can by their bedside
- have them keep a water bottle by their bed for fluids (once they can keep water down)
- give back rubs and foot rubs
- keep soda crackers and 7up on hand for the first tries at eating again
- make a chart of meds given on a magnetic dry erase board on the fridge
- make brown rice for breakfast once they are eating again (it's the easiest food to digest)
- change hand towels frequently and have a special hand towel designated for the sick child
If the bowl gets used I dump it in the toilet, rinse it in the sink or bathtub, dry it off with a towel and then spray it inside and out with Lysol and return it to the sick bed.
- chop an onion and put in bowls around the house and by the bedside of the sick to help fight the virus and prevent others from getting it
- cover their sheets with a beach towel
- provide a plastic bowl by their bedside
- braid long hair loosely for comfort and convenience
- sleep in their room with them
- put pull-ups on them if necessary (the largest size will surprisingly fit older kids)
- keep a cold wet washcloth for fevers
- keep a hot water bottle for aches and pains
- rub Castor oil on aches and pains (aching legs and back)
- use vapor rub
- use a humidifier if needed
- keep a tissue box and trash can by their bedside
- have them keep a water bottle by their bed for fluids (once they can keep water down)
- give back rubs and foot rubs
- keep soda crackers and 7up on hand for the first tries at eating again
- make a chart of meds given on a magnetic dry erase board on the fridge
- make brown rice for breakfast once they are eating again (it's the easiest food to digest)
- change hand towels frequently and have a special hand towel designated for the sick child
If the bowl gets used I dump it in the toilet, rinse it in the sink or bathtub, dry it off with a towel and then spray it inside and out with Lysol and return it to the sick bed.
11.02.2009
I hold the tone in my own hands....
The longer I'm a wife and mother, I realize just how much I hold the happiness of our home in my power. How I act and speak always sets the tone for our home. My attitude can either bring destruction and everyone else down (tears down her home with her own hands) or it can be the joy, the positiveness, and build everyone up. I choose each day if I will discourage my family and make my home a difficult place to grow and thrive in or if I will create an atmosphere of love, acceptance, nurture, wisdom, rejuvenation, spiritual focus, and rest. This is crucial not only to the little souls that are being molded in my home, and my husband who daily comes back to home from toiling in the world to find refreshment and rest for his body, mind, and soul, but also the guest or stranger who comes to be ministered to in my home. Everything about my home (order, decor, comforts, etc.) has a part in this outcome but it starts with my own personal outlook and behavior. It starts with the smile on my face and the peace in my own heart.
The hardest times to choose joy is when I'm under personal grief, stress, or turmoil. And yet, I find that those seem to be the most important times for wife and mother to stand firm with a smile. I can either panic and grieve, OR I can be a vessel reflecting the truth from God, that we have nothing to fear, for we are in God's hands. All is at peace and rest.
The hardest times to choose joy is when I'm under personal grief, stress, or turmoil. And yet, I find that those seem to be the most important times for wife and mother to stand firm with a smile. I can either panic and grieve, OR I can be a vessel reflecting the truth from God, that we have nothing to fear, for we are in God's hands. All is at peace and rest.
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