Teaching Children How To Clean

I've observed mothers who send their small children in to clean up a room (ie. pick up and organize toys where they go, make the bed, etc.) by themselves at young ages. It drags on for hours with the child making very little progress if any at all. Soon mother is mad and the child is downcast and grumpy. Family time that could have been spent in fun has now been greatly wasted with a nagging mother sending the child back into the room to "keep working". Children aren't born knowing how to clean. We can assume that they know but the truth is that they don't. We do know that children learn by example which is crucial to teaching children how to clean up.

Always have your small child clean up beside you. Go into the room with them and yes, the first few years you'll be doing the bulk of the work but you will be teaching your child truly how to clean. Young children need to be shown and to do the work with you. They may actually end up having a great time cleaning "with" you. Don't have too high of expectations of a small child to clean up by themselves which only frustrates them, accomplishes little, breeds bitterness (we are warned in Scripture not to exasperate our children and one of the best ways to do that is to have unrealistic expectations), makes for grumpy parents when the job doesn't get done, and breeds negativity in the home-atmosphere for hours in worse cases.

Clean with your children. 
Make cleaning together fun. 
Help them feel accomplished.
Don't ask them to clean while you sit in a chair and exhibit laziness.
Do more work than your child does while working together.
Work joyfully.
Set realistic goals and limits. 
Use a timer to tidy up. (commit to only 20 min. and then save the rest for another day)
Conquer one room at a time when cleaning the whole house (mother and all the children go into each room together, even their sibling's and parent's rooms and all work till it's done and then move to the next room). This way you are helping each other and you promote family team work.

Once they are older they can use the timer on their own even to work alone. Establishing these methods quickly solved cleaning up issues when my first born was just a toddler and has produced children who are incredibly skilled cleaners who clean joyfully, efficiently, and quickly. Instead of complaining they tackle even the biggest jobs with strong work ethic.

Remember that a lazy mother is an example of laziness. It doesn't matter how many times she bosses her children around to do their chores or clean from her spot in her recliner, they will learn by watching what she does (or in this case, doesn't do) rather than by all the barking commands she has given. They won't be learning motivation for work ethic. Children learn best when you are working beside them at the task that you are trying to teach them. Yes, children are capable of much but if they aren't taught the skill first then they have nothing to go on. You don't send them into the kitchen by themselves to learn to cook but instead you have them cook beside you while you do the bulk of the work at first until they can independently proceed because of your example. Even if you are a hard working mom (and not lazy) be careful not to be so focused on your own chores and work that you neglect working beside your child at even the simplest of tasks. It seems like so much at first but the ground work in training your children will produce fruit later that will bless you immensely and your child as they grow older.

On the flip side, don't do everything for them. DO teach them to clean and be hard working, independant, and motivated people. Just because you can do their laundry for them when they are in high school doesn't mean that you should! You are robbing them of knowledge and independance. But maybe even more so, you have robbed them of the characteristic of work ethic and the ability to bless others through serving. This is actually a greater tragedy.