I'm writing the future

what will my kids say about me? "growing up, my mom......." They'll be finishing that sentence in many ways. I hope that as I'm writing their history right now that the sentence will be finished with good things.

No mom is perfect and there will always be an element of what I call "mom guilt" no matter how hard I try to be a good mom. But I've learned that I need to always keep in the back of my mind the fact that what I say, how I act, the choices I make, and the responses I have to life are all being watched by little eyes and listened to by little ears. My children observe my frustration, my anger, my joy, my unfairness, my happiness, my smile, my tears, my unkind words, my temper, my love, my gossip, my attitudes, etc. With all of those things I'm writing their "childhood history". I write it with my tone of voice, I write it with my facial expressions, I write it with my disapproval, I write it with my relationship to my husband, I write it with my respect or disrespect, I write it with the attitude I choose to have each day as I face trials.

What will they say about me? "When I was growing up my mom.....was rushed all the time?" or "was always sitting at her computer" or "was rude to Daddy" or "was lazy" or "yelled at us" or "didn't spend enough time reading her Bible" or will they say things like "she always found the joy no matter what the circumstances" or "she was faithful to her God" or "she taught us to love Jesus more than life" or "she admired Daddy and never spoke poorly of him" or "she taught us to live Godly by example".......

Wouldn't those be wonderful things to have said about me one day. I have influence over what will be said about me in the future by how I live today! I can choose to be the calm mother with a smile, gentle guiding hand, peaceful voice, with love in her eyes for all around her or to be flustered, overwhelmed, with anger and tears often on my face.

Emilee, if you are a mother some day, I hope you will forgive me for my short comings and failures but mostly I pray that you will forgive yourself for your own short comings and failures and strive to always be growing as a Godly woman. Satan will always tempt us to despair as a mother and tell us of the guilt within (that "mom guilt" that says we are never good enough). Don't allow Satan to convince you that your progress is anything but glorious and honoring to God. I love you my sweet girl. Thank you for always forgiving me now and for being so precious and forbearing with me. You are an incredible 8 year old and I can't even imagine how blessed you will be as a Godly woman.