Modesty Begs the Question...

• is it too short?
• is it too low cut?
• is it too tight?
• is it too loose?
• is it too see through?
• is it gaping when I bend over?
• are the buttons too far apart?
• is it needing a safety pin?
• is it inching up?
• is it allowing skin to be exposed that shouldn't be?
• is it sloppy?
  
• is it revealing when I kneel down?
• does it look like underwear?
  
• is it age appropriate?
• is it drawing attention to places it shouldn't?
  
• is it compromising?
• is Daddy okay with it?
• is it honoring to God?
• is it about getting attention?
• is it setting a good example?
• is it even worth having in my closet?
  

motives of a modest heart

modesty is an issue of the heart....

"....the most important question is not, "What do I wear?" But instead, "What is the state of my heart?" Because the real issue ladies is the heart. How you dress on the outside says a lot about who you are on the inside. Our pastor John [MacArthur] made this great statement one time in a sermon; he said this, "The train of sin runs on tracks that were laid in the heart." So you must be very honest with your self about your motives. Why do you dress like you do? What kind of reactions are you trying to get?

Now, there is nothing wrong with wanting to be attractive and pleasant to the eyes of other people, but a woman must be very careful that, that does not cross a line and becomes something she craves, because that becomes a pride issue. We should never ever get secret pleasure from thinking that we are attracting attention from men. So we need to examine our motives, and I am dead serious when I say that you have to be brutally honest with yourself here, because our hearts can be deceptive.

Jeremiah 17:9 says, ""The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked."

A woman can be trying to get attention from men and all the while pretending to herself that she is doing nothing of the kind. This is an area where we really need to pray the prayer of,

Psalm 139:23-24, where is says, "Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me, and…see if there is any wicked way in me."

In John MacArthur's commentary on 1 Timothy, he made this statement about the heart, "How does a woman discern the sometimes fine line between proper dress and dressing to be the center of attention? The answer starts in the intent of the heart. A woman should examine her motives and goals for the way she dresses. Is her intent to show the grace and beauty of womanhood? Is it to reveal a humble heart devoted to worshiping God? Or, is it to call attention to herself and flaunt her beauty, or worse to attempt to lure men sexually? A woman who focuses on worshiping God will consider carefully how she is dressed, because her heart will dictate her wardrobe and her appearance."

You know sometimes the problem is not even modesty, but instead it is a pride issue. Sometimes a girl can be relatively modest but she is very focused on buying certain name brands of clothes, or she always buys very expensive clothing, and she wants other people to notice that. That is just as wrong as being immodest, because that is a heart issue. So ladies, I implore you, examine the motives of your heart.

Never forget ladies that your clothing says something about you. A person's first impression, is often, and actually, usually based on outward appearance. When you walk in a room, before you have even said one word your clothes are making a statement, and if a woman's dress is a revelation of what's in her heart; what you are actually telling others is whether you have a modest heart or an immodest heart.

And while we are talking about externals here let me caution you to guard against being legalistic in this area. Legalism is an overemphasis on external things in the belief that, that is what produces spirituality, and unfortunately this mindset often leads to becoming self-righteous and judging other people by those same external standards.

Do you know what? You can be very modestly dressed and still have a wicked heart, or you can be immodestly dressed and just be naïve and need someone to come along side and help you. I cannot stress it enough ladies: it is all about your heart! It's not just about what you wear."

Pam Hardy

Thoughts on modesty

Richard Baxter (writing 400 years ago) had this advice for how we as women should relate to men in the area of our dress:

"And though it be their sin and vanity that is the cause [of lust], it is nevertheless your sin to be the unnecessary occasion…You must not lay a stumbling-block in their way, nor blow up the fire of their lust…You must walk among sinful persons as you would do with a candle among straw or gunpowder; or else you may see the flame which you did not foresee, when it is too late to quench it." (qtd in The Look by Nancy Leigh DeMoss)