Shut the World Out

Sometimes as a mom, we have to shut the world out. Life can get hectic and stressful when there are too many people taking from us at once. It can be as complicated as over committing yourself to things and demanding relationships outside the walls of your home to as simple as the phone ringing too many times in one day. Moms know when those moments are because signs of stress start to overcome us. The baby is crying, the laundry needs to be switched to the dryer, your inbox is full of emails to reply to, the phone is ringing, you never ran the errand your husband asked you to do this morning, the toddler just spilled something, dinner is burning on the stove, and the doorbell just rang. I won't even describe the day where this all happens and you are supposed to be at the dentist in 15 min.

No matter how organized we try to be and no matter how well we master managing our time, Mama said there would be days like this. These are the days when shutting out the world to just focus on what goes on inside the walls of your home is necessary.

Let the phone ring
Ignore the email (in fact don't turn the computer on)
Close the front curtains so no one knows you are home
Reschedule appointments
Stay home (unless it's of course to run that errand for your adoring husband)

So many times I've wanted to run from the house screaming and pulling my hair out when what I really needed to do was stay in the house and shut the world out. It's a protective mode to protect the sanity of what is on the inside of our house...our family. It's like calling a huddle and getting the team to regroup. Sometimes this shut-out lasts just for the afternoon but other times it has lasted for days! Instead of freaking out, stressing out, having a break down, just shut out the world until order has been regained.

It's not always easy to shut out the world when we've over committed ourselves. That's when some serious pruning of our schedules may need to be done. I've had to prune and re-prune, and re-prune again when it comes to my always evolving schedule.

But remember that our first priority is our family; our husband, our children, our home. Everything else has to come after the first most precious things are cared for. Shut out the world if you have to. It's worth it from time to time.

I'm writing the future

what will my kids say about me? "growing up, my mom......." They'll be finishing that sentence in many ways. I hope that as I'm writing their history right now that the sentence will be finished with good things.

No mom is perfect and there will always be an element of what I call "mom guilt" no matter how hard I try to be a good mom. But I've learned that I need to always keep in the back of my mind the fact that what I say, how I act, the choices I make, and the responses I have to life are all being watched by little eyes and listened to by little ears. My children observe my frustration, my anger, my joy, my unfairness, my happiness, my smile, my tears, my unkind words, my temper, my love, my gossip, my attitudes, etc. With all of those things I'm writing their "childhood history". I write it with my tone of voice, I write it with my facial expressions, I write it with my disapproval, I write it with my relationship to my husband, I write it with my respect or disrespect, I write it with the attitude I choose to have each day as I face trials.

What will they say about me? "When I was growing up my mom.....was rushed all the time?" or "was always sitting at her computer" or "was rude to Daddy" or "was lazy" or "yelled at us" or "didn't spend enough time reading her Bible" or will they say things like "she always found the joy no matter what the circumstances" or "she was faithful to her God" or "she taught us to love Jesus more than life" or "she admired Daddy and never spoke poorly of him" or "she taught us to live Godly by example".......

Wouldn't those be wonderful things to have said about me one day. I have influence over what will be said about me in the future by how I live today! I can choose to be the calm mother with a smile, gentle guiding hand, peaceful voice, with love in her eyes for all around her or to be flustered, overwhelmed, with anger and tears often on my face.

Emilee, if you are a mother some day, I hope you will forgive me for my short comings and failures but mostly I pray that you will forgive yourself for your own short comings and failures and strive to always be growing as a Godly woman. Satan will always tempt us to despair as a mother and tell us of the guilt within (that "mom guilt" that says we are never good enough). Don't allow Satan to convince you that your progress is anything but glorious and honoring to God. I love you my sweet girl. Thank you for always forgiving me now and for being so precious and forbearing with me. You are an incredible 8 year old and I can't even imagine how blessed you will be as a Godly woman.

Be home

It took me a while to learn that when my children were little I needed to be home as much as possible. I liked being out and about most days as it was my nature and habit but I soon realized that little children (infants included) thrive on being home. They need routine and the security of home. Dragging my children out of the house every day from place to place only created chaos. Babies and children need the habit of good naps in the same place every day to establish healthy sleep habits. Taking them out of the house every day is over stimulating for their little bodies and minds. Once I learned that being home was best life became more peaceful and my children became much happier. I purposed to only leave the house twice a week if I had to which included my grocery shopping, errands, and play dates. Only 2 times during the work week was my rule. As a family, on the weekends there was already church on Sunday, errands to run as a family or other commitments to attend so we were out plenty as it was each week.

Being disciplined in this area (as much of an adjustment as it was for me to be home almost every day) came in handy when it was time to do potty training. I realized that I needed to be home as much as possible when we potty trained as well. It also became a beneficial discipline when I began homeschooling.

Being home more actually brought myself more freedom. At first it felt restricting because I was not a homebody and I thrived on social contact. But over time I adjusted and benefited from the peace that being home brought. Suddenly there were other benefits that I didn't realize. Like how much better in control of my house I was....the house stayed cleaner, I was more organized, meals were prepared on time more often, my husband came home to happy well rested children, a clean and welcoming home, a hot meal ready, and a happy wife who was also more rested and organized. I was free to enjoy doing what I was called to do....I was free to care for my children, free to keep my house clean, free to prepare healthy meals, free to play with and enjoy my children, free to rest, free to stay home and enjoy being a wife and mom. By allowing me to be a stay-at-home mom, my husband gave me the greatest gift which is to enjoy fulfilling my role as wife and mother in a Biblical fashion. Enjoying it to the fullest and disciplining myself in my role became my joy and peace.

Being home provides the opportunity to be organized and disciplined with caring for my home and my children. I still have the choice to be home and be lazy or be home and be disciplined. Being home merely provides the means.

Now, I am a homebody. I love being home and truly hate when I have to leave for the day to run errands or grocery shop. The best spent day for me is a day spent home soaking up my children's youth, preparing my home daily for my family and making a home that welcomes my husband back each day from the strains of life.

Home Management Folder

I love my home management binder. It's just a 3 ring binder with dividers and page covers. It's the brain of my home (since my brain is mostly gone). Anything and everything I could possibly need is in there. It keeps me on schedule, it keeps me organized, it keeps me in contact, which all keeps me happy.

What I use to make it:

1. a three ring binder
2. page dividers
3. page protectors (great for holding receipts, coupons, cards, and such.)
4. a three ring binder whole punch (unless you put all your pages in page protectors.)
   
5. post it notes (are a must for me so I keep a little stack in the front pocket
6. a pen (you'll use this often and not want to search for one.)

Here's what is currently in my home management folder divided by the bold categories:

Meal Planning-

• calendar month of meal plan
• printed recipes that I use almost every week (ie. bread, snacks, etc.)
• dinner ideas list
• lunch ideas list
• azure standard schedule
• azure standard order receipts
• recipes I want to try
• the basic recipes I use almost every week
  

Homeschool-

• school year calendar
• kid's Bible reading chart
• kid's individual weekly curriculum plan
• kid's course of study and scope
• kid's weekly lesson plans
• reading list for library books

Coupons-

• sorted in page protectors by expiration date

(coupons are for eating out mostly but also specialty items that we regularly buy, coupons the kids earn at our library reading program, gift cards, etc.)

Communication-

• important information I don't want to forget! Especially with coming up events
• next month's cards for birthdays and other events
• church directory, neighborhood directory, family directories
• list of new neighbor's names (so that I don't forget them!)
• medical results, doctor appointments, current research I'm doing of any sort
• a list of questions to as your kids to connect with them spiritually
• things I need to respond to or follow up on (ie. wedding invites, letters, orders, etc.)
  

Finances-

• monthly cash flow plan
• budget
• receipts to keep
• other financial notes (ie. goals, etc.)

At different times my folder has also included categories such as:

Home Decorating-

• I save paint chips
• magazine pages of things I like
• list of items to keep my eye out for at garage sales
• etc.

Christmas-

• Christmas gift ideas
• list of gifts bought previously
• menu plan
• Christmas card list and check list
• postage
• etc.

Cleaning-

• daily cleaning schedule
• weekly cleaning schedule
• monthly cleaning schedule

Marriage-

• date ideas
• baby sitter contact list
• spontaneous ways to show love ideas
• plans for anniversary
• plans for valentines
• gift ideas
• etc.

My current binder had a window pocket design on the front. So, I wrote Home Management on a piece of paper and slid it in the pocket. I found it at Walmart. Yes, it can get a little messy at times since life is busy but at least it's all there and I know where it is!

Advent

We've been using the advent as outlined in the book Disciplines of a Godly Family by Kent and Barbara Hughes for several years now. The advent in the book goes along with hanging ornaments on a Jesse Tree. The name “Jesse Tree” comes from Isaiah 11:1-2: A shoot will come up from the stump of Jesse; from his roots a Branch will bear fruit. The Spirit of the LORD will rest on him— the Spirit of wisdom and of understanding, the Spirit of counsel and of power, the Spirit of knowledge and of the fear of the LORD.” It's pretty in-depth so when the kids were younger and couldn't understand everything I paraphrased it a bit.

If you are interested in doing a Jesse Tree check out some of these other resources as well.
The Glorious Coming by Graham Family Ministries
Printable Color Your Own Pictures for a Jesse Tree
Purchase Handmade Jesse Tree Ornaments

There are several other Jesse Tree ornament Kits out there if you do an internet search. There isn't a "right" way to do a Jesse Tree. There are so many stories in the Bible that all point to the coming Savior. For a basic understanding of this concept, I would suggest reading The Jesus Storybook Bible with your children. This book teaches us how the Bible is one story about a Savior coming to rescue us and how most of the OT stories are symbolic of that coming Savior. Of course, I would recommend reading this book no matter what because it's funny and incredible and my kiddos love it!

I've since found more resources and I like this one for little children. I would copy and paste it here but it's copyrighted-instead you can go to the site and see it for yourself. You of course don't have to buy the sticker book but you can see the 25 daily verse readings which are very short for small children.

This one is a little more in-depth with longer readings and again you can go view it but I can't copy and paste it here because it's copyrighted as well. You can see the daily readings and use them with your own Jesse Tree or other way of doing Advent.

Advent starts on the 4th Sunday before Christmas which means that it's a different amount of days each year depending on what day Christmas falls on. You can either do the math and do the full amount of days or you can just start with December 1st and do 25 days. If the advent you've chosen has more days on it than you want to use, then choose which ones to skip.

Hope this tradition carries on in our family to every generation!