Is he the one?

I've been asked by other girls over the years how you know he is Mr. Right before you marry him. I struggled with that question because for myself I just knew deep down inside and I wasn't sure why I knew, I just knew. My dating story includes a time of testing that confirmed in my mind that he was the one because my heart learned during that time that it never wanted to be away from him....I had a hard time imagining what life without him would be like. While I had to answer this question "if I don't get to marry him will God be enough?" I knew in my heart that life without him would be incredibly difficult.

While I think that is key, there is also another factor that I've learned over the years really matters. It's one simple question. Do you know his character? Well, in order to know his character you must invest time in knowing him and you must take the time to meet his family and his friends. It's important to see him interact in the relationships he has around him and see how he acts in every way. Knowing his social circle and the kind of friend he is to others will tell you a lot about the kind of friend he will be to you. When you see him handle stressful situations, when you watch him respond to others who treat him poorly, when you see him honor or dishonor his parents, you will see character or the lack there of. It takes time to watch a man walk with the Lord and time will reveal his godly character.

While many a girl has taken a risk on an internet relationship or a quick marriage after only meeting a few months back, if it has worked, they have simply gotten lucky. You really have a 50% chance in that case of marrying a man of good character. In that case you can only "hope" that his walk with the Lord is sincere and deep. You have to take his word for it. If you have not spent time observing him in his other friendships and/or family relationships you may not know what you are getting. You want to know how he deals with difficult times and how he communicates in relationships. You want to know what type of leader he will be in the home. Will he lead as one responding to God's call or will he lead selfishly?

No he will not be perfect. Perfection is not the measure of a godly man. Only a heart that is teachable, honorable, honest, forgiving, humble, and striving to glorify God. Search out his character. It will take time but it's time well invested. You will either be driven away by his character or you will fall in love with it. You will measure his faults and decide if they are faults you can live with and be a source of encouragement to. If you bring each other down as individuals instead of push each other up to live to your fullest for God's sake, then don't marry. Marry a man who convicts you to be better for God. He will love you enough to tell you the things you don't want to hear but need to hear. Don't marry the man that only tells you the things you want to hear. Only marry if you know that you will be a stronger team for the living of God's will.

And pray. God will give you peace and show you if he is the one. Don't marry until you have that answer.