“For every fearful peak into the future, I wish I had looked to Christ instead. For each imaginary trouble conjured up, I wish I had recalled the specific, unfailing faithfulness of God. In place of dismay and dread, I wish I had exhibited hope and joy. I wish I had approached mothering like the preacher Charles Spurgeon approached his job: ‘forecasting victory, not foreboding defeat.”
9.20.2010
I wish I would have trusted God more....
Carolyn Mahaney on mothering:
9.16.2010
Partings in Marriage
"Make the most of all that comes and the least of all that goes" (celebrate his comings and make the least of his leavings)
I got this advice a little too late. When I was a young bride of 20 years old, I hated when my husband had to leave the house...even for work. Silly looking back on it. I would pout and make him feel guilty for leaving me. Yet, I have always excelled at making the most of his comings. Even when the children were toddlers I always rallied them into a frenzy when Daddy was returning home. We would jump up and down and shout together "Daddy is home!" and he'd walk in the front door only to get clobbered with hugs and kisses. We've kept this up and he is always greeted with a rush to the door and hugs all around...even knock-you-down-hugs as my kids affectionately call them.
Years into parenting, my husband once told me how much he loved that I made his returning to the family such a moment of celebration. It means a lot to him.
I out grew my pouting when he had to leave. Thankfully! Now I try to see him off with the same smile and kiss that greets him when he returns. Hopefully it shows him that I'm happy to hold down the fort while he is away.
9.15.2010
Motherhood with Eternity in View
"To be a good mother, you must have eternity in view... A mother with eternity in view will see the value of relaxing with her children. Housework and schoolwork are so temporal, unless you can do them in a spirit of fellowship with others. Every day deserves a song and a dance... the dance of carefree feet skipping through the blessings and joy of just being. Dirty floors, clothes that didn't get picked up, spilled milk, and schoolwork that didn't get done will be of no consequence 100,000 years from now. Whether poor or rich, highly educated, or common laborer, the heart is cultivated to enjoy God's presence. All else is vanity and vexation of spirit.
"Write down all the things that trouble you during the day... What is the very first irritation of the morning? It may be very subtle. It may not lead to bad words. You may not even be aware that you have yielded to a bad spirit. Write it all down for one day and then review it at night. Was it worth it?
"If you find that your expectations of your spouse or your children are so high that you are angry at them for failing to comply, it is far better to lower your expectations to your smiling threshold than to scowl at them from your high perch."
Michael Pearl
9.14.2010
Snow Tips
I typed up this list for a friend who just moved to the snow and wanted some tips....
-always shovel the driveway. If you wait, it will freeze overnight and you won't be able to scrape it up.
-don't drive on the driveway until you've shoveled because the tires will pack it down and even if you shovel you will have two stripes on your drive way of frozen ice (which makes for kids slipping and falling easily.)
-mittens are for keeping warm not for playing in snow. Once they are wet their hands will freeze. My kids came close to actually getting frostbite just while playing in our yard one year.
-water resistant gloves are for playing in snow not mittens.
-snow pants are an essential (walmart and target carry them. Have your kids where thermals underneath and then put the snow pants on.)
-snow boots are essential for playing in the snow as well....payless will carry reasonably priced ones.
-scarfs can double as ear warmers by wrapping it around your head like a headband and then secure by wrapping around your neck.
-keep a sweater hanger (you can see it here) in your entry coat closet. Each kid or person in the family gets their own cubbie for mittens, scarfs, ear muffs, snow gloves. This solves trying to find everyone's "gear" when trying to get out the door on time.
-boots and mittens dry great by the floor heater vents.
-when you go somewhere teach your kids to take off their mittens and put them into their coat pockets. That way they don't get lost.
-hang snow pants over the tub or shower to dry.
-when getting out of a car/truck, test the parking lot ground with your foot before getting out. You can slip very badly on black ice that you can't see. Trust me, I've done it and it wasn't pretty. Teach your children to do the same.
-keep a windshield scraper in your car. Preferably one with a brush and a scraper on it.
-always park in your garage if you can.
-enjoy it, have fun in it, when it snows- put down the school books and go play in it! =0)
-always shovel the driveway. If you wait, it will freeze overnight and you won't be able to scrape it up.
-don't drive on the driveway until you've shoveled because the tires will pack it down and even if you shovel you will have two stripes on your drive way of frozen ice (which makes for kids slipping and falling easily.)
-mittens are for keeping warm not for playing in snow. Once they are wet their hands will freeze. My kids came close to actually getting frostbite just while playing in our yard one year.
-water resistant gloves are for playing in snow not mittens.
-snow pants are an essential (walmart and target carry them. Have your kids where thermals underneath and then put the snow pants on.)
-snow boots are essential for playing in the snow as well....payless will carry reasonably priced ones.
-scarfs can double as ear warmers by wrapping it around your head like a headband and then secure by wrapping around your neck.
-keep a sweater hanger (you can see it here) in your entry coat closet. Each kid or person in the family gets their own cubbie for mittens, scarfs, ear muffs, snow gloves. This solves trying to find everyone's "gear" when trying to get out the door on time.
-boots and mittens dry great by the floor heater vents.
-when you go somewhere teach your kids to take off their mittens and put them into their coat pockets. That way they don't get lost.
-hang snow pants over the tub or shower to dry.
-when getting out of a car/truck, test the parking lot ground with your foot before getting out. You can slip very badly on black ice that you can't see. Trust me, I've done it and it wasn't pretty. Teach your children to do the same.
-keep a windshield scraper in your car. Preferably one with a brush and a scraper on it.
-always park in your garage if you can.
-enjoy it, have fun in it, when it snows- put down the school books and go play in it! =0)
9.13.2010
One flesh and under his family head....
read the full article hereWhy should you say “I do” to changing your name when you get married? I think there are six biblically-based reasons:
- Unity: Scripture says that when you become married, you become one flesh with your husband. Changing your name to his reflects that fact. (Gen. 2:24; Matt. 19:5)
- Identification: Scripture teaches that it’s the man who launches out to establish a new family unit. Changing your name to his, and naming your children with the same name, identifies all of you as part of his family unit. (Gen. 2:24; Matt. 19:5)
- Commitment: Changing your name indicates that you are making a permanent, life-long commitment to your husband, and will henceforth be identified as being inseparably linked to him. (Rom. 7:2; Matt. 19:6)
- Roles: Changing your name to his indicates that you affirm the biblical pattern of your husband being the head of your marriage and household. (1 Cor. 11:3; Eph. 5)
- Paradigm: Since the relationship between husband and wife is a paradigm of the relationship between Christ and the church, Christian women who change their name model and bear witness to the reality of Christ changing our names when we enter a relationship with Him. We—the church Bride—identify ourselves with Him and are called by His name when we become one with Him. Christ’s bride is rightly called by her Husband’s name. A woman who changes her name bears witness to this part of the gospel story. (Isa. 43:7, Acts 15:17, 2 Chron. 7:14, Rev. 3:12; 14:1)
- Precedence: Adam named Eve. Twice. (Gen. 2:23; 3:20)
9.10.2010
Sweet Sleep
When I had my first baby I had a romanticized vision of a sweet little cradle in our bedroom, beside my bed, with a precious sleeping baby in it and waking each morning after a restful nights sleep to find my little bundle looking up at me with a smile and wide eyes, well rested as well, and the birds would be chirping a pretty song out my window......
Said baby was born, sweet little cradle was strategically placed in our bedroom, and that's about all that became a reality from my hopes of a sleeping babe. Not only did the baby not sleep soundly (this baby made lots of noises in his sleep), I was not rested when I awoke in the morning (since I had awoken many times in the night to soothe a crying baby), and loud obnoxious crows and a barking dog greeted the morning out my window instead of singing robins like in Mary Poppins. Where did I go wrong? I had it all figured out and then reality sank in. This was going to be harder than I realized.
I solved some of the problems by moving my baby into his own room at only 3 weeks. My friends that were new moms at the time as well thought I was cruel but my husband and I were desperate for some shut eye. I stumbled my way through each day like a drugged zombie longing for some good deep sleep. The baby woke several times a night to be nursed. He was a good baby, always going right back to sleep after nursing but somehow the months rolled by without any improvement in sleep. I rocked him to sleep otherwise he'd cry when I put him down for bed or a nap. I knew something had to change but I didn't know how. I wondered how I would keep this up when we had more children. While I loved rocking my baby to sleep, I knew I had to teach this little one how to sleep on his own otherwise I'd be sorry in a few years...and well, still a zombie.
My friends were recommending books that seemed too cruel to implement...parent directed feedings, no contact bedtimes, no rocking, no snuggling, no soothing a crying a baby, strict and ridged feeding times that left no room for growth spurts, teething, or bonding while nursing. I couldn't embrace those methods and yet I was struggling to find a way to get my baby to sleep.
I found hope and at 9 months old my baby slept through the night for the first time.
I began reading Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child written by an actual expert (a pediatric sleep doctor from some children's sleep hospital in Boston). It was scientifically based on studies. These studies proved that parent-directed-feedings had no effect on sleep habits (proven by infants studied in the NICU who were fed through IVs continually). I was willing to listen to an expert.
What I learned:
-I could have the best of both worlds....a baby who went to sleep on his own like a pro and get in all my rocking and snuggling! =0)
-Babies have to learn how to sleep. It's a skill just like riding a bike. They learn how to go to sleep but they also have to learn how to soothe themselves back to sleep when they wake up in the middle of the night. Like feeding himself, going potty, and riding a bike, I wanted him to be independant. I knew of parents who's 5 year olds were still dependent on them for sleep (ie, sleeping with them, or the parents holding their hand till they fell asleep, etc.)
-Snuggling, rocking, comforting, holding, and the like are NOT taboo. They have their place but they are actually very healthy. More about that in a minute.
-Bedtime routines help babies and children prepare for sleep. Babies and children need to unwind. This is where rocking, snuggling, etc comes in. Having a routine that is the same every evening (or at least similar) signals to your baby that it's time for sleep. Same for children....having a bedtime routine helps prepare them mentally, emotionally, and physically for bed. More on bedtime routines in a minute.
-Babies and children need more sleep than you think. America is a sleep deprived nation.
-ADD and ADHD are often misdiagnosed sleep deprivation.
-Sleep begets sleep. That means that overly tired babies and children have a more difficult time getting REM sleep (deep sleep) for extended hours. The flip side is that well rested babies and children will end up sleeping longer and deeper the more sleep that they get.
-Healthy sleep habits are key to a happy baby and child during awake times.
-Growing children, even elementary and teens, often need naps.
So, the good news is, I finally learned how to train my infant to go to sleep and stay asleep. The book tells you how much each age child needs (how many hours in a 24 hour period). That was really helpful since my first born took really long great naps....it helped me gauge how much sleep he needed in a full 24 hours. The book also takes you through each age group explaining their sleep needs and possible routines (not schedules- there is a difference) that may work well for each age. Routines have flexibility, schedules do not. Routines can be baby dictated, schedules are parent dictated.
The hardest part is undoing bad sleep habits. Had I only started out training my infant from the beginning, the "untraining" of bad habits wouldn't have been so tough to endure. Yes, it requires allowing your baby to cry himself to sleep in order to learn how to sleep. I didn't follow the book perfectly which is why I liked this book. It's not rigid. Any book that says there is only ONE way to do things and one way to raise your children are not realistic. Children are not robots. They are all different and you have to figure out each child and what works with them. I guess that's one of the hard things about being a mom...figuring out each child, their personalities, their make up of who they are....
After I had my first baby, baby number two was born. She was a completely different baby in every way. She took short naps and slept long through the night. I was able to implement what I had learned right from the beginning with her and wow, it paid off. She even went down for bed without crying...she loved sleep and even if she did cry at nap time it was only for about 2 min. I timed it and I'm not kidding.
So, here are the basics of what worked for us:
-breastfeeding on demand
for one baby that was every 4 hours for the other baby it was around every 2 hours. For the first baby it meant waking in the night to nurse until he was 9 months old and for the second baby that meant waking in the night to nurse until she was just under 3 months old but by 8 weeks she often slept through the night without waking to nurse (she slept from 7pm-7am by the time she was 3 months old till she was about 7 years old).
-sleep time routine
this always included rocking with their blanky
(but not rocking to the point that they fell asleep because then they'd always expect to be rocked to sleep. I laid them down in bed just when they were getting relaxed and sleepy.)
this sometimes included reading them a book, singing to them, a warm bath, baby massage, etc.
All of these things signaled to them that it was almost sleep time and it was time to relax. Once they were relaxed from these things I would lay them down in their bed.
-make a comfy place to sleep
a room painted in soft colors decorated with other soft colors
clean sheets and blankets (always provide your infant and children with a clean place to sleep-wash bedding weekly)
soft sheets and blankets (provide the best you can and make it snuggly)
proper cozy jammies (not too cold not too hot)
-sleep blanket, sleep animal, sleep binky
we let our kids have a binky and by the second child I figured out that it was best to make the binky only for sleeping. This prevented binky attachment later.
I always put the same blanket and stuffed animal in their crib so that they got attached to them. That way when I rocked them with those two items they knew it was sleep time. It also was a comfort to them when we were sleeping away from home.
-same sleep place
while training a baby to sleep we found it key to keep the place that they slept always the same. Their own quiet room in their own comfy crib instead of naps in a pack-n-play here or there or sleeping one night in the parent's bed, the next night in a pack-n-play, the next night on mom in the recliner, etc. Create a sleep place so that your baby knows where they sleep and gets comfortable with the familiarity of sleeping there.
-while the book suggest letting your baby cry till they fall asleep, I wasn't comfortable allowing it to go longer than 30 minutes. If we reached 30 minutes of crying when I was re-training our first born to sleep, then I would do as the book suggested... go in and check on him but not say a word. If he was okay, then I'd lay him back down and leave the room. He finally figured out that I wasn't going to get him back up or rock him to sleep. He eventually learned to just go to sleep.
My two babies are 11 and 9 years old now and they are both great sleepers. Our bedtime routine now consist of brushing teeth, saying bedtime prayers together, hugs, kisses, reading books in bed, and then we always say "spit spot" to each other (from Mary Poppins- just a silly tradition we started. I guess for us it kind of means "now get to sleep and I'll see you in the morning")
I've never had trouble with my kids getting out of bed. I've had other people say to me "well, you just got lucky with easy kids." HA, I don't think so! In fact I don't think there is such a thing as "easy kids". People just want to believe that since they haven't taken the pains to train their own children that you must have just gotten lucky with easy kids. I'll tell you the reason I haven't had trouble with the "I need another drink, I need to go potty again, I need to tell you something" routine that most kids pull....it's because I trained my children to sleep from the beginning. It's never crossed their minds to get back out of bed. They love sleep and they know it's good for them. When they moved from a crib to a bed there were no issues with getting out of bed.
The best part is that I have happy, rested children. They have the gift of good sleep, good health, good focus through the day with plenty of energy. They love their snugly beds and truly appreciate their bedtime.... the gift to us as parents is kids who go right to bed with ease so that we have the evening alone to unwind from our day and connect as a couple. It's also a blessing to us when we have company and our kids go down without a peep and we can continue to enjoy our company.
Do your baby a favor and teach them how to sleep. They will benefit from it for the rest of their lives. It will create a healthy and peaceful home to grow up in...where mother is rested, mother has breaks during the day during naps to refresh herself, and the whole family has sweet sleep through the nights. Balance that with lots of snuggle time and rocking when your babies and children are awake.
I know not everyone will embrace the same sleep methods and that's okay. Do what works for your family. We all parent in ways that are important to us. For me, I've wanted to give my kids the gift of good sleep habits. I didn't want them to be dependent on me for sleep. I felt it gave them a healthier lifestyle and gave my husband and I the freedom to have a more balanced marriage and family life which in turn blesses my children back.
Said baby was born, sweet little cradle was strategically placed in our bedroom, and that's about all that became a reality from my hopes of a sleeping babe. Not only did the baby not sleep soundly (this baby made lots of noises in his sleep), I was not rested when I awoke in the morning (since I had awoken many times in the night to soothe a crying baby), and loud obnoxious crows and a barking dog greeted the morning out my window instead of singing robins like in Mary Poppins. Where did I go wrong? I had it all figured out and then reality sank in. This was going to be harder than I realized.
I solved some of the problems by moving my baby into his own room at only 3 weeks. My friends that were new moms at the time as well thought I was cruel but my husband and I were desperate for some shut eye. I stumbled my way through each day like a drugged zombie longing for some good deep sleep. The baby woke several times a night to be nursed. He was a good baby, always going right back to sleep after nursing but somehow the months rolled by without any improvement in sleep. I rocked him to sleep otherwise he'd cry when I put him down for bed or a nap. I knew something had to change but I didn't know how. I wondered how I would keep this up when we had more children. While I loved rocking my baby to sleep, I knew I had to teach this little one how to sleep on his own otherwise I'd be sorry in a few years...and well, still a zombie.
My friends were recommending books that seemed too cruel to implement...parent directed feedings, no contact bedtimes, no rocking, no snuggling, no soothing a crying a baby, strict and ridged feeding times that left no room for growth spurts, teething, or bonding while nursing. I couldn't embrace those methods and yet I was struggling to find a way to get my baby to sleep.
I found hope and at 9 months old my baby slept through the night for the first time.
I began reading Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child written by an actual expert (a pediatric sleep doctor from some children's sleep hospital in Boston). It was scientifically based on studies. These studies proved that parent-directed-feedings had no effect on sleep habits (proven by infants studied in the NICU who were fed through IVs continually). I was willing to listen to an expert.
What I learned:
-I could have the best of both worlds....a baby who went to sleep on his own like a pro and get in all my rocking and snuggling! =0)
-Babies have to learn how to sleep. It's a skill just like riding a bike. They learn how to go to sleep but they also have to learn how to soothe themselves back to sleep when they wake up in the middle of the night. Like feeding himself, going potty, and riding a bike, I wanted him to be independant. I knew of parents who's 5 year olds were still dependent on them for sleep (ie, sleeping with them, or the parents holding their hand till they fell asleep, etc.)
-Snuggling, rocking, comforting, holding, and the like are NOT taboo. They have their place but they are actually very healthy. More about that in a minute.
-Bedtime routines help babies and children prepare for sleep. Babies and children need to unwind. This is where rocking, snuggling, etc comes in. Having a routine that is the same every evening (or at least similar) signals to your baby that it's time for sleep. Same for children....having a bedtime routine helps prepare them mentally, emotionally, and physically for bed. More on bedtime routines in a minute.
-Babies and children need more sleep than you think. America is a sleep deprived nation.
-ADD and ADHD are often misdiagnosed sleep deprivation.
-Sleep begets sleep. That means that overly tired babies and children have a more difficult time getting REM sleep (deep sleep) for extended hours. The flip side is that well rested babies and children will end up sleeping longer and deeper the more sleep that they get.
-Healthy sleep habits are key to a happy baby and child during awake times.
-Growing children, even elementary and teens, often need naps.
So, the good news is, I finally learned how to train my infant to go to sleep and stay asleep. The book tells you how much each age child needs (how many hours in a 24 hour period). That was really helpful since my first born took really long great naps....it helped me gauge how much sleep he needed in a full 24 hours. The book also takes you through each age group explaining their sleep needs and possible routines (not schedules- there is a difference) that may work well for each age. Routines have flexibility, schedules do not. Routines can be baby dictated, schedules are parent dictated.
The hardest part is undoing bad sleep habits. Had I only started out training my infant from the beginning, the "untraining" of bad habits wouldn't have been so tough to endure. Yes, it requires allowing your baby to cry himself to sleep in order to learn how to sleep. I didn't follow the book perfectly which is why I liked this book. It's not rigid. Any book that says there is only ONE way to do things and one way to raise your children are not realistic. Children are not robots. They are all different and you have to figure out each child and what works with them. I guess that's one of the hard things about being a mom...figuring out each child, their personalities, their make up of who they are....
After I had my first baby, baby number two was born. She was a completely different baby in every way. She took short naps and slept long through the night. I was able to implement what I had learned right from the beginning with her and wow, it paid off. She even went down for bed without crying...she loved sleep and even if she did cry at nap time it was only for about 2 min. I timed it and I'm not kidding.
So, here are the basics of what worked for us:
-breastfeeding on demand
for one baby that was every 4 hours for the other baby it was around every 2 hours. For the first baby it meant waking in the night to nurse until he was 9 months old and for the second baby that meant waking in the night to nurse until she was just under 3 months old but by 8 weeks she often slept through the night without waking to nurse (she slept from 7pm-7am by the time she was 3 months old till she was about 7 years old).
-sleep time routine
this always included rocking with their blanky
(but not rocking to the point that they fell asleep because then they'd always expect to be rocked to sleep. I laid them down in bed just when they were getting relaxed and sleepy.)
this sometimes included reading them a book, singing to them, a warm bath, baby massage, etc.
All of these things signaled to them that it was almost sleep time and it was time to relax. Once they were relaxed from these things I would lay them down in their bed.
-make a comfy place to sleep
a room painted in soft colors decorated with other soft colors
clean sheets and blankets (always provide your infant and children with a clean place to sleep-wash bedding weekly)
soft sheets and blankets (provide the best you can and make it snuggly)
proper cozy jammies (not too cold not too hot)
-sleep blanket, sleep animal, sleep binky
we let our kids have a binky and by the second child I figured out that it was best to make the binky only for sleeping. This prevented binky attachment later.
I always put the same blanket and stuffed animal in their crib so that they got attached to them. That way when I rocked them with those two items they knew it was sleep time. It also was a comfort to them when we were sleeping away from home.
-same sleep place
while training a baby to sleep we found it key to keep the place that they slept always the same. Their own quiet room in their own comfy crib instead of naps in a pack-n-play here or there or sleeping one night in the parent's bed, the next night in a pack-n-play, the next night on mom in the recliner, etc. Create a sleep place so that your baby knows where they sleep and gets comfortable with the familiarity of sleeping there.
-while the book suggest letting your baby cry till they fall asleep, I wasn't comfortable allowing it to go longer than 30 minutes. If we reached 30 minutes of crying when I was re-training our first born to sleep, then I would do as the book suggested... go in and check on him but not say a word. If he was okay, then I'd lay him back down and leave the room. He finally figured out that I wasn't going to get him back up or rock him to sleep. He eventually learned to just go to sleep.
My two babies are 11 and 9 years old now and they are both great sleepers. Our bedtime routine now consist of brushing teeth, saying bedtime prayers together, hugs, kisses, reading books in bed, and then we always say "spit spot" to each other (from Mary Poppins- just a silly tradition we started. I guess for us it kind of means "now get to sleep and I'll see you in the morning")
I've never had trouble with my kids getting out of bed. I've had other people say to me "well, you just got lucky with easy kids." HA, I don't think so! In fact I don't think there is such a thing as "easy kids". People just want to believe that since they haven't taken the pains to train their own children that you must have just gotten lucky with easy kids. I'll tell you the reason I haven't had trouble with the "I need another drink, I need to go potty again, I need to tell you something" routine that most kids pull....it's because I trained my children to sleep from the beginning. It's never crossed their minds to get back out of bed. They love sleep and they know it's good for them. When they moved from a crib to a bed there were no issues with getting out of bed.
The best part is that I have happy, rested children. They have the gift of good sleep, good health, good focus through the day with plenty of energy. They love their snugly beds and truly appreciate their bedtime.... the gift to us as parents is kids who go right to bed with ease so that we have the evening alone to unwind from our day and connect as a couple. It's also a blessing to us when we have company and our kids go down without a peep and we can continue to enjoy our company.
Do your baby a favor and teach them how to sleep. They will benefit from it for the rest of their lives. It will create a healthy and peaceful home to grow up in...where mother is rested, mother has breaks during the day during naps to refresh herself, and the whole family has sweet sleep through the nights. Balance that with lots of snuggle time and rocking when your babies and children are awake.
I know not everyone will embrace the same sleep methods and that's okay. Do what works for your family. We all parent in ways that are important to us. For me, I've wanted to give my kids the gift of good sleep habits. I didn't want them to be dependent on me for sleep. I felt it gave them a healthier lifestyle and gave my husband and I the freedom to have a more balanced marriage and family life which in turn blesses my children back.
9.05.2010
Snuggle
Snuggle your kids. Pull them up on your lap. Rock them. Hug them. Kiss them. Massage their feet. Rub their backs. Tickle their necks. Play with their hair. Rub lotion into their legs, arms, and feet after a bath. Wrap them warm in blankets with socks on and snuggle on the couch. Pull out the sleeper sofa or blow up the air mattress and have cuddle time with popcorn and a movie in the living room. Let them climb into your bed in the morning. Climb into their bed in the morning and cuddle. Always hug hello and always hug goodbye. Shaking hands is for strangers. Kiss goodnight. Have them hug each other goodnight and goodbye.
Develop an affectionate family that has a bond strong enough to give comfort through a knowing hug. You won't regret raising an affectionate child. The human touch is a powerful communicator. When the teen years become trying, when they leave home and face their own adult life challenges, coming back "home" into a parent's embrace can give the assurance that words sometimes can't convey. It's the knowing squeeze of a hand, the crying on a shoulder, the embrace of strong loving arms that say "I'll hold you up when you can't stand up." Cultivate an affection that begins with rocking a newborn, snuggling a toddler, cuddles in bed with a child, a reassuring hug with your teen, foot massages with a young adult child.
Be an affectionate mother. Meet your child's emotional needs and fill their "affection bank" every day with the deposits of compassion. Be a compassionate mother when your toddler tumbles, when your newborn cries for comfort in a cradle, when your little one needs some rocking before bed, or your older child needs some hugs or sofa time.
I'm not talking about rocking your child to sleep every night because you've spoiled them and they can't go to sleep any other way. I'm not talking about creating a sleep environment that makes your infant or child completely dependent on you for sleep. There is a difference. We always worked hard to develop good sleep routines and habits for our children but a healthy bedtime routine (wind down) included lots of snuggle and affection. As a mother I did infant massage on my babies and have kept it up all their lives. They love back rubs and they know how to give a good one back. We have some of the best heart to heart talks when we are snuggling, massaging each others feet, talking in bed on an early morning, or cuddling on the sofa. I will always cherish rocking them every evening before bed....priceless.
Give your children the security of affection.
Develop an affectionate family that has a bond strong enough to give comfort through a knowing hug. You won't regret raising an affectionate child. The human touch is a powerful communicator. When the teen years become trying, when they leave home and face their own adult life challenges, coming back "home" into a parent's embrace can give the assurance that words sometimes can't convey. It's the knowing squeeze of a hand, the crying on a shoulder, the embrace of strong loving arms that say "I'll hold you up when you can't stand up." Cultivate an affection that begins with rocking a newborn, snuggling a toddler, cuddles in bed with a child, a reassuring hug with your teen, foot massages with a young adult child.
Be an affectionate mother. Meet your child's emotional needs and fill their "affection bank" every day with the deposits of compassion. Be a compassionate mother when your toddler tumbles, when your newborn cries for comfort in a cradle, when your little one needs some rocking before bed, or your older child needs some hugs or sofa time.
I'm not talking about rocking your child to sleep every night because you've spoiled them and they can't go to sleep any other way. I'm not talking about creating a sleep environment that makes your infant or child completely dependent on you for sleep. There is a difference. We always worked hard to develop good sleep routines and habits for our children but a healthy bedtime routine (wind down) included lots of snuggle and affection. As a mother I did infant massage on my babies and have kept it up all their lives. They love back rubs and they know how to give a good one back. We have some of the best heart to heart talks when we are snuggling, massaging each others feet, talking in bed on an early morning, or cuddling on the sofa. I will always cherish rocking them every evening before bed....priceless.
Give your children the security of affection.
8.25.2010
Questions to Reveal Idols in Our Hearts
1. What do you most highly value?
2. What do you think about by default?
3. What is your highest goal?
4. To what or whom are you most committed?
5. Who or what do you love the most?
6. Who or what do you trust or depend upon the most?
7. Who or what do you fear the most?
8. Who or what do you hope in and hope for most?
9. Who or what do you desire the most? Or, what desire makes you most angry or makes you despair when it is not satisfied?
10. Who or what do you most delight in or hold as your greatest joy and treasure?
11. Who or what captures your greatest zeal?
12. To whom or for what are you most thankful?
13. For whom or what great purpose do you work?
2. What do you think about by default?
3. What is your highest goal?
4. To what or whom are you most committed?
5. Who or what do you love the most?
6. Who or what do you trust or depend upon the most?
7. Who or what do you fear the most?
8. Who or what do you hope in and hope for most?
9. Who or what do you desire the most? Or, what desire makes you most angry or makes you despair when it is not satisfied?
10. Who or what do you most delight in or hold as your greatest joy and treasure?
11. Who or what captures your greatest zeal?
12. To whom or for what are you most thankful?
13. For whom or what great purpose do you work?
8.14.2010
a complaining mother?
“A woman needs to cultivate the habitual feeling that all the events of her nursery and kitchen are brought about by the permission of our Heavenly Father, and that fretfulness or complaint in regard to these is, in fact, complaining at the appointments of God, and is really as sinful as submissive murmurs amid the sorer chastisements of His hand. And a woman who cultivates this habit of referring all the minor trials of life to the wise and benevolent agency of a heavenly Parent, and daily seeks His sympathy and aid to enable her to meet them with a quiet and cheerful spirit, will soon find it the perennial spring of abiding peace and content.”
The American Woman’s Home by Catherine and Harriet Beecher Stowe 1869
The American Woman’s Home by Catherine and Harriet Beecher Stowe 1869
8.12.2010
Raising Boys
If you are raising sons, a fun idea is to pick up electronics at garage sales for your boys to take apart. They can explore and learn how things work without ruining any of your gadgets that you'd like to keep using. When you are at garage sales look for items such as:
old phones
radios
type writers
fans
shower heads
remote controls
flashlights
speakers
CD players
video camera/video tapes
cell phones
toasters
and more
and then give him a pair of work goggles and hammer. =0) No really, a set of tools out in the garage or on the back patio with these items could bring hours of fun and education.
old phones
radios
type writers
fans
shower heads
remote controls
flashlights
speakers
CD players
video camera/video tapes
cell phones
toasters
and more
and then give him a pair of work goggles and hammer. =0) No really, a set of tools out in the garage or on the back patio with these items could bring hours of fun and education.
8.04.2010
Free or Slave?
"[Feminism] is mixed up with a muddled idea that women are free when they serve their employers but slaves when they help their husbands." ". --G.K. Chesterton, The Collected Works of G.K. Chesterton, vol. 4, p. 440
7.24.2010
Balloon Time
When my kids were little and we were couped up in the house from either winter weather or too hot in the summer weather, I would blow up some balloons for them to play with. They loved it and it was great cheap entertainment. It was a nice break from their usual toys and helped kill bordem. It also served as a great way to get them up and active. Playing with balloons is an activity that works for a wide span of ages.
So, keep a package of balloons handy for some cheap fun and exercise. A package of balloons also travels light and easy....bring them on vacation. They are great fun while camping or in a boring hotel room. Make up games like "don't let the balloon touch the floor" and "balloon volley ball" using a string for a net.
So, keep a package of balloons handy for some cheap fun and exercise. A package of balloons also travels light and easy....bring them on vacation. They are great fun while camping or in a boring hotel room. Make up games like "don't let the balloon touch the floor" and "balloon volley ball" using a string for a net.
7.22.2010
Dirty High Chair
Best way to clean a high chair?
In the summer, remove the padding, take the chair outside to the grass and hose it down with the garden hose. Get out a sponge or scrub brush and some dish soap and scrub the chair down. Scrub the padding down too if it's plastic or toss it in the washer machine. Rinse the chair with the hose again and towel dry it and you'll be surprised how clean you can get it!
In the summer, remove the padding, take the chair outside to the grass and hose it down with the garden hose. Get out a sponge or scrub brush and some dish soap and scrub the chair down. Scrub the padding down too if it's plastic or toss it in the washer machine. Rinse the chair with the hose again and towel dry it and you'll be surprised how clean you can get it!
6.24.2010
Opinions That Judge
Dear Daughter,
My heart is often heavy as I hear women take a stand on issues against one another. I've been guilty of it and as a pastor's wife I've heard just about every topic that divides women. It has not only grieved me but perplexed me.
Stay-at-home-mom vs. the working mom.
Epidural vs. natural childbirth.
College vs. no college.
Courtship vs. dating.
Home-birth vs. hospital birth.
Public school vs. private school.
Breastfeeding vs. bottle feeding.
Vaccinations vs. homeopathic remedies.
Homeschooling vs. daycare.
Green living vs. processed foods.
Traditional worship vs. Contemporary worship.
Made from scratch vs. eating out.
Cloth diapers vs. disposable diapers.
Demand feeding vs. scheduled feedings.
Strollers vs. baby slings.
Paul encourages us in Philippians chapter 2 verses 1 and 2, to be of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose. We judge one another. It's just a human sinful fact and yet it's wrong. We say with our lips that we want "unity" like Paul is talking about but we don't know how to genuinely achieve unity when it comes to our opinions.
Should we not have an opinion? Can we not form our own preferences? Do we suppress our convictions?
Romans 14:5 says "One person regards one day above another, another regards every day alike. Each person must be fully convinced in his own mind." We of course will have our own convictions and should not flippantly decide what perspectives we will stand behind. Yet, without legalism should we possess these opinions. Is it not worse to judge your sister in Christ than it is to error on (what you perceive to be) the wrong side of these issues.
Not many of us are born with all of our opinions formed nor will we most likely hold all of our opinions without changing our minds on any issue at anytime in our lives. If God was forbearing with our unformed convictions can we not forbear with our sisters in Christ? Sometimes in life we are forced to face circumstances that make us bend on our opinions. For example, I'm passionate about mom's staying home. I can give you Scriptures that I feel support my side of the argument. But ironically I'm working at the moment that I write this. Not because I want to but because I need to and it's the best way I can serve my husband during this season of our lives. God has a way of humbling us at times. It helps us keep from being judgmental.
I also want to encourage you to not always take a side. When presented with an issue women are quick to take up an opinion and march it right up to the front of the battle line. Myself included. Something I'm learning in my life is to not be quick to form an opinion or to not form one at all if it's not an issue that I feel passionate about one way or the other. For example, I love the "idea" of baby-wearing yet I have a bad back. I love the help a stroller offers me because of my back pain. I really don't think that one way is "right" verses the other on this topic. I don't walk around judging women with strollers or women that wear their babies. I know that I'm being judged by some when I'm walking around with a stroller but I frankly don't care. It's silly to me and I refuse to take a position on this topic. I know women who see the good points to both sides of the birth control debate and yet have chosen to not take an opinion. Their opinion only goes so far as believing that children are a blessing. I think that most Christians would agree to that statement yet that doesn't tell you their convictions about birth control. My point is that you don't have to take up camp with one side or the other. I think a less "opinionated" church would be more honoring to God.
I've been judgmental. I've lacked grace for others...the same grace Christ has patiently bestowed on me. I've been guilty of thinking that there is only one way....my way. I've failed to see others as "growing" rather than perfect. I hope that I do not pass this on to you.
May you be convinced in your own mind, yes. I hope that your opinions are thought through and arrived at with much prayer, study, and conviction. But I also pray that your love for others will go before you wherever you tread with your opinions. May God give you the grace to fellowship with other believers that you will one day be in perfect unity with in heaven. You may not be like minded in many things this side of heaven, but surely you can worship together and fellowship together regardless.
May you not make the judgmental mistakes I have made.
Love you just the way you are,
Mom
My heart is often heavy as I hear women take a stand on issues against one another. I've been guilty of it and as a pastor's wife I've heard just about every topic that divides women. It has not only grieved me but perplexed me.
Stay-at-home-mom vs. the working mom.
Epidural vs. natural childbirth.
College vs. no college.
Courtship vs. dating.
Home-birth vs. hospital birth.
Public school vs. private school.
Breastfeeding vs. bottle feeding.
Vaccinations vs. homeopathic remedies.
Homeschooling vs. daycare.
Green living vs. processed foods.
Traditional worship vs. Contemporary worship.
Made from scratch vs. eating out.
Cloth diapers vs. disposable diapers.
Demand feeding vs. scheduled feedings.
Strollers vs. baby slings.
Paul encourages us in Philippians chapter 2 verses 1 and 2, to be of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose. We judge one another. It's just a human sinful fact and yet it's wrong. We say with our lips that we want "unity" like Paul is talking about but we don't know how to genuinely achieve unity when it comes to our opinions.
Should we not have an opinion? Can we not form our own preferences? Do we suppress our convictions?
Romans 14:5 says "One person regards one day above another, another regards every day alike. Each person must be fully convinced in his own mind." We of course will have our own convictions and should not flippantly decide what perspectives we will stand behind. Yet, without legalism should we possess these opinions. Is it not worse to judge your sister in Christ than it is to error on (what you perceive to be) the wrong side of these issues.
Not many of us are born with all of our opinions formed nor will we most likely hold all of our opinions without changing our minds on any issue at anytime in our lives. If God was forbearing with our unformed convictions can we not forbear with our sisters in Christ? Sometimes in life we are forced to face circumstances that make us bend on our opinions. For example, I'm passionate about mom's staying home. I can give you Scriptures that I feel support my side of the argument. But ironically I'm working at the moment that I write this. Not because I want to but because I need to and it's the best way I can serve my husband during this season of our lives. God has a way of humbling us at times. It helps us keep from being judgmental.
I also want to encourage you to not always take a side. When presented with an issue women are quick to take up an opinion and march it right up to the front of the battle line. Myself included. Something I'm learning in my life is to not be quick to form an opinion or to not form one at all if it's not an issue that I feel passionate about one way or the other. For example, I love the "idea" of baby-wearing yet I have a bad back. I love the help a stroller offers me because of my back pain. I really don't think that one way is "right" verses the other on this topic. I don't walk around judging women with strollers or women that wear their babies. I know that I'm being judged by some when I'm walking around with a stroller but I frankly don't care. It's silly to me and I refuse to take a position on this topic. I know women who see the good points to both sides of the birth control debate and yet have chosen to not take an opinion. Their opinion only goes so far as believing that children are a blessing. I think that most Christians would agree to that statement yet that doesn't tell you their convictions about birth control. My point is that you don't have to take up camp with one side or the other. I think a less "opinionated" church would be more honoring to God.
I've been judgmental. I've lacked grace for others...the same grace Christ has patiently bestowed on me. I've been guilty of thinking that there is only one way....my way. I've failed to see others as "growing" rather than perfect. I hope that I do not pass this on to you.
May you be convinced in your own mind, yes. I hope that your opinions are thought through and arrived at with much prayer, study, and conviction. But I also pray that your love for others will go before you wherever you tread with your opinions. May God give you the grace to fellowship with other believers that you will one day be in perfect unity with in heaven. You may not be like minded in many things this side of heaven, but surely you can worship together and fellowship together regardless.
May you not make the judgmental mistakes I have made.
Love you just the way you are,
Mom
6.23.2010
MiniMe Paper Dolls
Emilee loves paper dolls. We are always keeping our eyes open for paper dolls. I just came across these precious paper dolls that you can order to look like your daughter. They are designed to keep modesty in mind.
They remind me of the illustrations in Milly Molly Mandy. So sweet. You can purchase hard copies or downloadable pdf files. If you order the package it comes with a CD of your customized doll so you can print off as many of her and her outfits as you like!
Go here for a code to use to get the Summer Line of outfits above for free with your order. Be sure to check out the outfits page. Love the dress up clothes line of costumes. Simply precious.
I think Emilee is getting an Emilee Paper Doll for her birthday next month. Shhhh! Don't tell her.
They remind me of the illustrations in Milly Molly Mandy. So sweet. You can purchase hard copies or downloadable pdf files. If you order the package it comes with a CD of your customized doll so you can print off as many of her and her outfits as you like!
Go here for a code to use to get the Summer Line of outfits above for free with your order. Be sure to check out the outfits page. Love the dress up clothes line of costumes. Simply precious.I think Emilee is getting an Emilee Paper Doll for her birthday next month. Shhhh! Don't tell her.
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