Traditions

Traditions in families are such a great tool for teaching our children because unlike holidays and celebrations, traditions can be used at anytime! Around the holidays is when we use traditions the most but sometimes these traditions can become meaningless or lost in the shuffle of materialism. 

As mothers we have the opportunity to teach through the traditions we keep. Don't miss out on the chance to instill wisdom through family traditions. Choose carefully the family traditions you set up for your family. Think of traditions you can use to impart wisdom, instill a truth, or share a heritage.

We can also create traditions that are just fun and silly, that don't have some deep meaning. These traditions create a bond and promote family comroderie. It's important to have these kinds of tradtions as well. Silly and fun traditions convey love, a spirit of fun, and overall togetherness that bonds families. Don't forget to express love to your kids through silly traditions.

When developing traditions, ask yourself these questions:
-is this something I can keep up with year after year (week after week)?
-is this tradition frugal and simple to recreate every year?
-what is the purpose of this tradtion?
-what am I trying to pass down to my children through this tradtion?
-are our traditions balanced? (silly vs. instilling truth)

Some of our family traditions off the top of my head are:
-manger under the Christmas tree that sits empty and on Christmas morning it has a baby Jesus in it.
-12 Days of Christmas
-Advent Jesse Tree
-Reformation Day celebration on Oct. 31st and family movie night
-Praying on the way to church
-Floating the river after dinner in the summer
-Daddy playing guitar and singing together in the evenings
-Knock-you-down hugs
-Daddy makes breakfast on Saturday
-Daddy dates
-Dutch run (as in coffee run for the whole family- the kids get hot chocolate)
-"marriage check-up talk" on our anniversary
-Rogies on Christmas Eve
I know there are more but that's just a few.....

How to love a husband

1) Pray for him

- ministry

- struggles

- personal walk

- work 

-as a father

-as a husband

-as the leader of your home

2) Plan for him daily

- do things to serve him

- dinners

- alone time

- dinners alone

- kids to bed early/on time

- rise early with him

3) Prepare for him daily

-be home when he gets home

- prepare the house

- prepare your appearance

- prepare children's appearance

- prepare your greeting

- set the table

- clear out all visitors

- stay off the phone

4) Please him

5) Protect your time with him

6) Physically love him
            -pursue him

            -be available

7) Positively respond to him

8) Praise him (in private and in public)

- search your heart

-determine never to speak poorly of him

9) Pray always

- before you speak in the morning

- any time he is home

- throughout the evening

- on the way to answer the phone (it could be him)

- when you are arriving home and he is already there

adapted from Elizabeth George books

Front Porch Mentoring

This article couldn't be closer to my heart when it comes to generational fellowship and shining our light in our neighborhoods and well, how I feel about my cherished front porch. Nine years ago, getting to know my neighbors was new to me as an adult and I'm so pleased to now have wonderful relationships with some of my neighbors. And it's not because they are all just like me. Many of them have very different lives, religious beliefs, and are very different ages. I cherish each one. Some are ones that I hopefully shine a light too even during the times I'm not verbally witnessing to them and some of them are huge encouragements to me in my striving to serve God. Beyond neighbors, I hope to instill in my daughter the practice of hospitality that sits on the front porch and gleans from one another while sipping tea. We use our front porch often and have had so many come to sit with us. Great conversations have taken place on our front porch with young and old.

"One of the things I love best about hearing tales of "the good old days" is the camaraderie between neighbors and the kinship that linked generations. Little girls learned how to be women simply by being with the women in their lives. Cooking, keeping house, taking care of babies- all the ins and outs of womanhood were learned as a matter of course simply by one generation absorbing these things from previous ones.

This old-fashioned, front-porch style of passing on values and skills seems lost on my generation; in part, because we are simply too busy to be involved in each other's lives, and, in part, because we are a very scattered generation of young folk.

A lot of us live hours- or even states- away from our parents and extended family. Our generation has more technology at its finger tips than previous ones ever dreamt possible; email, instant messaging, texting and cell phones all enable us to keep in touch with loved ones, literally at the touch of a button.

Yet we are are more emotionally distant and withdrawn from those around us than generations past. How many of us know more about our next door neighbors than their first name? How many times have we invited friends from church into our home; or visited in the homes of our pastor or church family? 

One of the greatest challenges of being a twenty-first century woman is letting your guard down and being "real" with people. Since we've lost the "connectedness" of our grandmothers and great-grandmothers, we somehow feel we have to live up to an image projected by Hollywood. You know what I'm talking about. The illusion that real womanhood revolves around keeping up on the latest fashions, filling your home with designer furniture, driving expensive vehicles, having picture-perfect kids and a successful, manikin-handsome husband.

If we find our lives falling short of this picture-perfect scenario, we tend to shut others out. We shy away from inviting our friends over because they might see our old, ugly carpet, or how out-dated the couch is. And since our kitchen is definitely not state-of-the-art, and our cooking expertise doesn't match Rachel Ray or Paula Dean, it's too "risky" to ask people over for dinner. They might criticize our imperfections and it's easier just to keep everyone a safe distance away.

The thought that perhaps some of the younger girls in our circle of friendship might like to spend some time in our company probably doesn't even enter our minds. I mean, teenagers don't like the type of things I like- they probably think I'm an old, worn out fogey, any way. Girls these days don't even have an inkling that they should be learning to cook or clean or take care of babies. I don't have any extra time in my day to spend entertaining, anyway.

And so we cut the ties before us and after us. Each generation is self-contained, self-absorbed. And, like a plant with shallow roots, each generation withers on the vine. We live among, go to church with, and are even related to people with whom we share very little of our lives. The results are fragmented families, churches without true unity, and young women who grow up isolated and afraid to reach out.

The Biblical mandate for passing the torch of womanhood from generation to generation is so simple and clear: "The aged women... teach the young women" (Titus 2:2,3)

I would love to see this concept of Biblical mentoring rekindled among the Christian women in our culture. However, I'm not going to sit around "waiting" for it to happen. While I obviously can't change our culture, I can make a difference in the small sphere of influence God has given me. My family, my friends, my church, my community. I can choose to reach out to those God has brought into my life, both older and younger, and offer the gift of friendship.

I love one definition of a mentor: Someone farther down the path then you, who is going where you want to go, and who is willing to give you some light to help you get there.

Accordingly, we can all be a mentor to someone.

Hmmmm... who can I invite for a little front-porch chat this week?"

by Kristy visit Kristy's blog, Homemaker's Cottage

Boo Boo Stick

When my children were toddlers and seemed to get a boo-boo or scratch every day that they would complain about I would rub chapstick on it for a quick remedy. It's easy, doesn't need a bandaid, and I always have it with me.

Chapstick:
-has lanolin in it which helps heal quickly and takes away the pain
-seals the scratch/cut from the air which takes away the pain quickly
-is easy to have always with you in your purse
-is not greasy or oily so you don't even need a bandaid

Teaching Children How To Clean

I've observed mothers who send their small children in to clean up a room (ie. pick up and organize toys where they go, make the bed, etc.) by themselves at young ages. It drags on for hours with the child making very little progress if any at all. Soon mother is mad and the child is downcast and grumpy. Family time that could have been spent in fun has now been greatly wasted with a nagging mother sending the child back into the room to "keep working". Children aren't born knowing how to clean. We can assume that they know but the truth is that they don't. We do know that children learn by example which is crucial to teaching children how to clean up.

Always have your small child clean up beside you. Go into the room with them and yes, the first few years you'll be doing the bulk of the work but you will be teaching your child truly how to clean. Young children need to be shown and to do the work with you. They may actually end up having a great time cleaning "with" you. Don't have too high of expectations of a small child to clean up by themselves which only frustrates them, accomplishes little, breeds bitterness (we are warned in Scripture not to exasperate our children and one of the best ways to do that is to have unrealistic expectations), makes for grumpy parents when the job doesn't get done, and breeds negativity in the home-atmosphere for hours in worse cases.

Clean with your children. 
Make cleaning together fun. 
Help them feel accomplished.
Don't ask them to clean while you sit in a chair and exhibit laziness.
Do more work than your child does while working together.
Work joyfully.
Set realistic goals and limits. 
Use a timer to tidy up. (commit to only 20 min. and then save the rest for another day)
Conquer one room at a time when cleaning the whole house (mother and all the children go into each room together, even their sibling's and parent's rooms and all work till it's done and then move to the next room). This way you are helping each other and you promote family team work.

Once they are older they can use the timer on their own even to work alone. Establishing these methods quickly solved cleaning up issues when my first born was just a toddler and has produced children who are incredibly skilled cleaners who clean joyfully, efficiently, and quickly. Instead of complaining they tackle even the biggest jobs with strong work ethic.

Remember that a lazy mother is an example of laziness. It doesn't matter how many times she bosses her children around to do their chores or clean from her spot in her recliner, they will learn by watching what she does (or in this case, doesn't do) rather than by all the barking commands she has given. They won't be learning motivation for work ethic. Children learn best when you are working beside them at the task that you are trying to teach them. Yes, children are capable of much but if they aren't taught the skill first then they have nothing to go on. You don't send them into the kitchen by themselves to learn to cook but instead you have them cook beside you while you do the bulk of the work at first until they can independently proceed because of your example. Even if you are a hard working mom (and not lazy) be careful not to be so focused on your own chores and work that you neglect working beside your child at even the simplest of tasks. It seems like so much at first but the ground work in training your children will produce fruit later that will bless you immensely and your child as they grow older.

On the flip side, don't do everything for them. DO teach them to clean and be hard working, independant, and motivated people. Just because you can do their laundry for them when they are in high school doesn't mean that you should! You are robbing them of knowledge and independance. But maybe even more so, you have robbed them of the characteristic of work ethic and the ability to bless others through serving. This is actually a greater tragedy.

Bible reading for little ones

It's never too soon for children to begin reading their own Bibles each morning. Once a child can read they are able to read even the simplest of children's Bibles. Check your local book store for toddler versions for the beginner reader. If they have already had the Bible read to them regularly either from a Bible story book or the Bible itself, this will come easily for them.

For little children, have them read just one story at a time from a story Bible book.

For older children who have mastered basic reading, have them read 1 chapter of the Bible a morning.

Be sure to teach by example. Instilling this habit could save their lives.

Hair Ties

Keeping hair things in canning jars has been a great way to get to them fast and without having to dig through a drawer and untangle them to find them. Not only is it a timesaver but it's also kinda cute. Maybe we'll get some cuter jars at some point but for now these are serving us well and doing hair is becoming much easier!

Decorating 101

My first rule of home decorating is:
1. Don't collect things that you do not use unless it plays a significant role in your decor. Usefulness gives value to items we choose to use in our home. Collections of things like spoons, plates, and bells can be fun to collect but they often do not lend to the decor nor do they usually get "used". Consider carefully what you choose to "collect" if anything at all. Collecting lends itself to materialism and collecting cobwebs. When it comes to china, be sure and use it. Don't let it sit unused in a china hutch. Use all the things in your china hutch or get rid of them. By using them you create memories to them. Your children will not cherish the china plate or the tea pot that has no memories attached to them. Use them. It's worth even the risk of breaking them which is what most people are afraid of.

Ideas for using china:
~ have a formal night once a week/month where the table is set with fine china. Use the opportunity to train your children how to properly set a table. You can also use the evening to work on manners and proper table etiquette.
~use the fine china for special occasions like birthday dinners, anniversaries, other life celebrations, or special guests.
~always use the fine china for holidays!

Caring for sick children

When kids are sick I find it easiest to:

- chop an onion and put in bowls around the house and by the bedside of the sick to help fight the virus and prevent others from getting it
- cover their sheets with a beach towel
- provide a plastic bowl by their bedside
- braid long hair loosely for comfort and convenience
- sleep in their room with them
- put pull-ups on them if necessary (the largest size will surprisingly fit older kids)
- keep a cold wet washcloth for fevers
- keep a hot water bottle for aches and pains
- rub Castor oil on aches and pains (aching legs and back)
- use vapor rub
- use a humidifier if needed
- keep a tissue box and trash can by their bedside
- have them keep a water bottle by their bed for fluids (once they can keep water down)
- give back rubs and foot rubs
- keep soda crackers and 7up on hand for the first tries at eating again
- make a chart of meds given on a magnetic dry erase board on the fridge
- make brown rice for breakfast once they are eating again (it's the easiest food to digest)
- change hand towels frequently and have a special hand towel designated for the sick child

If the bowl gets used I dump it in the toilet, rinse it in the sink or bathtub, dry it off with a towel and then spray it inside and out with Lysol and return it to the sick bed.

I hold the tone in my own hands....

The longer I'm a wife and mother, I realize just how much I hold the happiness of our home in my power. How I act and speak always sets the tone for our home. My attitude can either bring destruction and everyone else down (tears down her home with her own hands) or it can be the joy, the positiveness, and build everyone up. I choose each day if I will discourage my family and make my home a difficult place to grow and thrive in or if I will create an atmosphere of love, acceptance, nurture, wisdom, rejuvenation, spiritual focus, and rest. This is crucial not only to the little souls that are being molded in my home, and my husband who daily comes back to home from toiling in the world to find refreshment and rest for his body, mind, and soul, but also the guest or stranger who comes to be ministered to in my home. Everything about my home (order, decor, comforts, etc.) has a part in this outcome but it starts with my own personal outlook and behavior. It starts with the smile on my face and the peace in my own heart.

The hardest times to choose joy is when I'm under personal grief, stress, or turmoil. And yet, I find that those seem to be the most important times for wife and mother to stand firm with a smile. I can either panic and grieve, OR I can be a vessel reflecting the truth from God, that we have nothing to fear, for we are in God's hands. All is at peace and rest.

Questions to ask yourself as a parent....

1. Do you have a clearly defined biblical vision for the convictions you want your children to possess when they are grown? Are there any cultural values you are prone to be influenced by which undermine biblical values when it comes to childrearing?

2. What are you doing to help your children avoid being moralistic with a thin veneer of Christianity when they are grown? Are there subtle ways in which you have emphasized good character (being self-sufficient) over holy living (being Gospelcentered)?

3. Do your goals and example commend a love for the local church? Are your children demonstrating they hold this value?

4. There are two tendencies or pitfalls that parents can fall into. One is when a parent tends toward fear, believing that a child's spiritual well-being is all up to the parent. The other is when a parent tends to minimize their God-given responsibility to train. Which is your tendency? Remedy for the first – trusting God, remedy for the second – fearing God.

Thoughts on modesty

Richard Baxter (writing 400 years ago) had this advice for how we as women should relate to men in the area of our dress:

"And though it be their sin and vanity that is the cause [of lust], it is nevertheless your sin to be the unnecessary occasion…You must not lay a stumbling-block in their way, nor blow up the fire of their lust…You must walk among sinful persons as you would do with a candle among straw or gunpowder; or else you may see the flame which you did not foresee, when it is too late to quench it." (qtd in The Look by Nancy Leigh DeMoss)

Motherly Affection

A Heart ….

That prays

That provides

That is happy

That gives

Of fun

That celebrates

That gives preferential treatment

That is focused

That is present

That is quiet

That is available

I serve my family before I serve others. I don't give my family the leftovers of myself after I've served others. I give my best for my family.

Pull-ups even past potty training?

Pull-ups are great for even potty trained kids when they are sick with diarrhea. One of the times my kids were sick and had this problem I thought of the leftover pack of pull-ups I had from when they were getting potty trained. The biggest size fit my skinny kids for quite a few years (I think up till about 6 years old. This worked awesome because up to that age they had a difficult time getting to the toilet in time. It was also a lifesaver one time when we were camping and they came down with it. It made clean up easy when I didn't have a washer and dryer. No more feeling bad that they couldn't make it to the toilet when they were sick. This solution made everyone happy, the kiddos and the mama!

Home Management

Create an atmosphere for growth spiritually and physically

Build a refuge (make your home a place of refuge and relaxation)

Avoiding the negatives (create the atmosphere with your attitude-avoid negative attitudes)

Understand that the role as helper, guard, worker and watcher is God's plan for me.

Watch over your home (difficult to do if you are rarely there)

Eliminate idleness (telephone, tv, computer, reading, sleeping)

Manage the home well (cleaning, cooking, laundry, decor, schedule, etc)

-Plan in detail

-Deal with today

-Value each minute

-Keep moving

-Develop a routine

-Exercise and healthy diet

-Use a timer

-Do the worst job first

-Read up on time management

-Say "No" to yourself and others if it's not part of Plan A for the day. Change to Plan B only if that is what God is calling you to do.

-Begin the night before

Tidy up before bed

Prep laundry

Run dishwasher

Layout everyone's clothes

Prepare for meals